


Greedy.

by m4rch



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angry Eren Yeager, Angry Kissing, Angry Sex, Blindfolds, Choking, Choking Kink, Cock Tease, Consent, Dominant Bottom, Dominant Eren Yeager, Drunk Sex, Dry Humping, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Fanfiction, Hot, Modern Era, Modern Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Multi, Non-Graphic Violence, Oral Sex, Orgasm Control, Romance, Rough Kissing, Rough Oral Sex, Teasing, Tongue Piercings, Top Eren Yeager, University, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:28:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 27,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29021247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m4rch/pseuds/m4rch
Summary: Your plan had been to get revenge on a guy you hooked up with, because he was an asshole, but the night ended differently than you had expected.A fan fiction, where y/n isn’t so easy to get through and control.A fight for dominance."Don't worry beautiful. Trust me. You are going to beg for more."Hmm that's funny because I have this feeling, that you are going to be the one begging for more."(Eren’s looks, slightly inspired by 7 minutes in heaven by ‘Attackonfics’...tongue piercing...)Updates every Sunday at 5pm eastern standard time.If you do not live in that zone feel free to google the time difference.I try to be consistent but sometimes things get in the way.
Relationships: Eren Yeager/Reader, Jean Kirstein/Reader, Sasha Blouse/Annie Leonhart
Comments: 131
Kudos: 264





	1. revenge

**Author's Note:**

> Dive in you Eren simp ;)

revenge 

'the action of hurting or harming someone in return for an injury or wrong suffered at their hands.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You have got to be kidding me y/n.”

“No fucking way, I am not going, after what happened last time. Hell no!”

“You are so much better than this...You have to make him regret his whole life!! Just imagine his face. Cmon y/n.”

She looked at you with her right eyebrow lifted and a childish smirk.  
She knew exactly, what you were thinking in that moment. You kinda wished, you didn’t tell her about it.

But Sasha did have a point. A few weeks ago, you hooked up with this dude at a college party.  
His name was Jean.  
You were just really sexually frustrated and needed to let it all out and fuck someone. It was that kinda night.

Not gonna lie, sex with Jean was great. He was hot as fuck and he had a great body. The only thing that bothered you, was that he couldn’t bring himself, to eat you out.  
You went down on him, but he didn’t want to do it back.  
Obviously you couldn’t force him, bu you were just really craving that attention.

Well your clit was really craving someone’s warmth. But sex with im was still amazing. You actually came for him.

That wasn't even the worst part. After the hookup you continued to party. 10 minutes later you overheard Jean talking to an other girl, with a bigger butt, bigger boobs and just generally more curvy. 

"Damn mami you’re so fucking hot. Wanna go upstairs.. To be honest, I fucked another chick a few minutes ago, but you are just way hotter and prettier than her"

He probably just said that to get another girl upstairs, but it really hurt ur feelings and your ego.  
He didn't even eat you out, the only thing he did, was put his length in an made you go down on him.  
What a jerk.

And now Sasha wanted you to go to a college party again.  
You knew Jean would be there, because he never misses a chance to party. And he is addicted to sex.

Sasha wanted you to be there aswell and look your absolute best to make him jealous.  
And to be honest, you wanted that too.  
It was really tempting. It would restore your ego and besides, it would make you feel amazing.

"OK OK OK.. I'm going. But only, if I can borrow that red dress of yours."

"Ohlala.. want to get railed again, huh?"

"Nah I don't think so.. to be honest, I don't wanna just fuck around with random dudes today."

"Well I'm definitely getting railed today!! Might even try, to find myself a gorgeous girl. I can't with men today."

The two of you started laughing and you started getting ready. You were kind of excited.  
You just really craved that attention.  
Imagining Jeans face, was already enough to get you pumped up.

You put on Sasha’s red dress and holy fuck.. You actually really liked yourself in it. It made all of your curves pop.  
It had a little bit of cleavage. But not to much.

Sasha was unexpectedly really good at hair and makeup. She put your hair up to show of your collarbone area and the deep cut out at the back of the dress. 

She added a sexy cateye, leaned back and looked up at her masterpiece.

"Y/n... listen up... are you sure you don't wanna get railed? You look stunning. All the guys are going to break their necks looking at you!"

“Really?”

You rushed to the mirror in your dorm and looked at yourself.

"Y/n y/l/n (Your name; your last name) ... you are going to make this boy regret his whole life!"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Sasha and you arrived at the college party 20 minutes, after you left the dormitory.

It was only 10 pm and there were already countless young men walking around drunk and whistling at girls walking by.

Maybe you were just imagining things, but the boys were definitely whistling extra loud at you and Sasha.

You just confidently smirked and walked past them.  
This is what you came here for.

You entered the house and automatically music blasted in your ears. Sasha took your hand, as you started looking for Jean.

It didn't take long for Sasha to find him.

As always, he was leaning over a chick and flirting as if his life depended on it.

Sasha set the scene.  
She made you stand in the middle of the room and made sure that as soon as Jean turned, he would have no other choice, than to look directly at you.

Streets by doja cat was playing in the background. It is a really catchy and seductive song, so you started swaying your hips to the song.

You were really feeling yourself and you really got into it.  
You looked absolutely stunning.  
Jean noticed the change in atmosphere and turned away from the girl he was flirting with.

Your eyes met.  
You didn't look away. You enjoyed ever last second of this.  
His eyes slowly trailed down your body, while his jaw slowly dropped lower and lower.  
His gaze finally landed on your thighs. 

The girl he was with, rolled her eyes and slaped Jean. He snapped back to reality.  
He didn't care about that girl anymore.

He walked over to you... still in a gaze.

"Holy shit y/n.. you look.. hot. Do you wanna maybe head upstairs. We had a lot of fun a few weeks ago."

You took in all of his staring.  
It felt amazing. You felt like the sexiest woman on earth.

This was the fun part. You were going to play with his feelings a little bit.  
You took his hand and put it on your hip. You seductively traced your fingers up his arm, until it reached his face. U placed your thumb on his lip and leaned in, until your lips were a few inches from his.

You could tell he was getting really excited, by his pants getting really tight around his crotch.

You chuckled to yourself and leaned into his ear.

"I'm sorry I made you so horny for me, but I don't fuck with boys who can't even go down on a woman."

You felt his body freeze up as you smirked against his ear. You pulled away, winked at him, took Sasha's hand and walked away still swaying your hips.

Leaving him to stand there and be a horny mess.


	2. encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “May I have this dance?”

encounter 

'the action of meeting someone unexpectedly.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You felt amazing... You felt sexy... the tension was fucking magnificent.

Watching Jean's horny ass just standing there.  
Sasha and you headed to another room and started dancing together.

"You did that... YOU DID THAT... He wanted to fuck you then and there...haha as you should."

You wanted to answer but suddenly a girl appeared behind Sasha. She had gorgeous blond hair that was tied up in a bun.

She was gazing at Sasha. You knew Sasha well and she was blushing crazier, than she had ever blushed before.

You giggled and took some steps back and let them be. This was Sasha's moment and you were all for it.

A couple of minutes went by.  
You felt your phone buzzing in you bag.

Sasha:  
Y/n is it k if I leave  
you alone for a bit?  
She is really nice  
and hawt.

You:  
Omg of course go get  
your girl Sasha...  
Have fun ;)

Sasha  
Hihi I'll catch u later.  
You have fun okay...  
Maybe even get urself  
a mannn 

You:  
We get it Sasha, you  
want me to get railed.  
Cu later <3

You were so happy for Sasha.  
You could tell that blonde girl was a hardcore top and you knew Sasha was obsessed with those kinda girls.

Without Sasha, you got more bored by the second.  
You started wandering around the house, running into at least 10 kissing couples on every floor.

You entered a room with a bar. Before you sat down, you decided to dance a little. It was a college party and you are young, so why the hell not.  
After a while, you got really exhausted and sat down on a bar stool at the very right side of the bar.

You ordered apple juice because even if u can take a lot of alcohol, you don't like drinking a lot of it.  
To be honest, you were a little disappointed, because besides Jean, there wasn't even one attractive person at this party. Not that you wanted to sleep with anyone, but you enjoy the thrill of having a party fling. Flirting is fun sometimes.

You rested your head on your right hand while leaning on the bar as you looked to the left.

But someone caught your eye. The only other person sitting. You gasped loudly and almost coughed, because you were so shocked.

He was extremely attractive. He had long brown hair that was tied up in a messy half up half down bun...or ponytail?

It was just really messy. But the first thing you noticed, were his piercing green eyes. 

He wore a black jacket with a white shirt and sweatpants. To a college party? Either he was underdressed or you were overdressed. Well, probably both.  
He was taking a couple of vodka shots and gazing up to the ceiling.

That was the deadly aspect, because your weak spot is sharp jawlines and boy did he have a nice jaw. Looking up, made it even more visible. Your body started heating up.

Suddenly he turned and looked at you. Straight into your eyes. It felt like his eyes were literally piercing into your soul.

Oh fuck...  
You were ashamed and wanted to look away, but for some reason, you couldn't keep your eyes off of him. It was intoxicating.

His lips curled into a grin..  
That was enough for you, to get butterflies. Those butterflies weren’t in your belly. They were in your core.  
Chills ran down your back. Not chills that you get when you are scared. No...  
This was a different feeling.

Suddenly he stood up and slowly walked over to you. Out of reflex you quickly turned away.

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck...  
Y/n keep it together... it's just, it's just an attractive guy...nothing much.  
Not a big deal. Get it together... You are confident and you are not going to melt for him.

"Hey beautiful."

Ok we are not going to be submissive right now. Assert dominance!

"Hey handsome."

He chuckled.. You were losing it. You were generally very dominant and confident, even if you like to be dominated in the bedroom. But he... he was just different.

Another thing you noticed, was that he was so respectful...he was not to close. He kept his distance. Most guys are like dogs. They get super close and think they have the authority, to just touch girls whenever they feel like it.

"Why thank you for the compliment. You are a dancer aren't you?"

"I'm actually not. Why? Were you watching me dance?"

Your eyes were piercing right back into his eyes confidently.

"I may have. I may haven't."

Damn... it was hard for you to cover up your blushing and keep calm. He stood up and holy hell. He was tall. You yourself are pretty tall, so it is hard to find men, who are taller than you. He smiled and reached out his hand.

"May I have this dance?"

"Sure thing, if you can handle my moves."

He raised his eyebrow and his genuine smile turned into a smirk.

"Challenge accepted."

You gave him your hand but you made sure to trace your fingers very slowly and seductively into his hands.

Your heart started beating faster, when you felt him shiver under your touch. 

You weren't going to give it to him just yet. You used your free hand to quickly grab onto his t-shirt and pull him closer. Not to close but close enough to smell his scent... The Intoxicating smell of expensive cologne hit your nose.

"I warned you pretty boy."

He chuckled at you and pulled you off the stool, gripped your hand even tighter and swayed to the middle of the room. 

You looked into each others eyes and started dancing. It was the perfect song... a Spanish song. You always loved spanish dances. You had to admit that he was very talented. He guided you through the music and never took his eyes off of you.

Even if there clearly was a lot of sexual tension, he didn't look at your cleavage, he didn't look at your hips, he didn't look at your thighs, he looked straight into your eyes.

You were twirling and he guided you through every turn you took and his strong arms wrapped around your body perfectly.

Even with all of the body contact, you still felt very safe and you had your space. He made sure that he was close but not close enough, to make you uncomfortable.

Everyone was watching the two of you. The women were jealous of you and the men were jealous of your dance partner. 

Finally you fell into his arms and landed the final typical pose.

After a few seconds he pulled you up again and because of his strength, he pulled you up a little to fast, so your lips were 2 inches away from each other. 

You looked at each others lips, for what seemed like forever, but for some reason you didn't want to kiss him. You didn't understand why, but you felt like, it was not the right moment. 

You traced your thumb along his lips  
and over his arm until you reached his hand. You slowly let go of him.

"I'm really sorry but I have to go... goodbye handsome.."

"Wait i don't even know your na-"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. I hate cliffhangers tooo.


	3. guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Good morning beautiful, or should I say, miss dancer.”

guilt

'an emotional experience that occurs when a person believes or realizes—accurately or not—that they have compromised their own standards of conduct'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For some unexplainable reason, you couldn't kiss him. Why the hell did you do that to yourself. You ran down all of the floors of the party and rushed out of the door past a desperate Jean.

You ran, until you were far enough away, to not hear the music anymore.  
What the hell is your problem y/n?  
You could have had the best hook up of your life. Why the fuck didn't u take that chance? He was so attractive. He was the first guy, who made it hard for you to asert dominance, you dumbass.

Guilt washed over your body.  
Someone grabbed your hand from behind.  
It was Sasha.

"Hey y/n YOU WILL NEVER GUESS...  
wait, is everything ok... you seem sad, I swear to God, if jean-"

"No no don't worry it wasn't Jean, it was someone different. Look, I'm sorry, but I don't want to talk about it right now. How was that girl?"

"No problem y/n. You know what, tomorrow, we are going to our favorite coffe shop, you know the one that also sells instant noodles and we can talk about your problem in peace... Oh her? HER NAME IS ANNIE!! we had the best time.. she is really good in bed hihi. We exchanged numbers, because we didn't want to only have an one night stand."

"Omg SASHAAAAA, that's amazing... you need to tell me more tomorrow, because right now I just want to sleep."

After a 20 minute walk, you and your roommate Sasha arrived at the dorm the two of you are sharing and the both of you headed straight to bed.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

You woke up at around 7.30 am, because you and Sasha planned on visiting the coffee shop pretty early.

You looked over at Sasha and saw her making THAT face.

"Ok what do u want Sasha?"

"I told you about Annie right?"

"Yes."

"Uhm wellll is it okay if she comes with us today? I swear she is really nice and she won't blabber out any secrets.. pleaseee?"

"Sure why not."

You didn't think it would be such a big deal, i mean you weren't going to see that guy ever again, so it doesn't really matter, right?  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU KISS HIM Y/N ARE U CRAZY? I know your soft spot is when guys know how to spanish dance or dance in general...why just why didn't u kiss him?"

"I actually agree with Sasha. I don't know you very well yet, but I would also like to know, why you didn't go for it. He was clearly very interested in you."

"I don't know, I was also very attracted to him, but I kind of didn't want it to end in a hook-up, 'never see each other again' typa thing."

"I understand that, but- oHhH annie, I think i- i forgot to get this one really important thing way back there at the bar, i have to definitely get it."

"Yeah ok see you in a few minu- OH uh yeah omg I will totally help you, don't you definitely ehh need help with that, like, right now..?"

"Yeah let's ehhh go right now!"

"Wait, what are you two planning??"

"We will be back..."

Suddenly Sasha and Annie left your table and headed to the bar. You were extremely confused. Wasn't Sasha about to complain about something?

Whatever, you just went straight back to finishing your noodles.

"Good morning beautiful, or should I say, miss dancer."

Oh fuck... this can't be...wait what?  
Your heart started pounding like crazy.

You could feel his strong intensity behind you but he wasn't to close. He was always so respectful. You turned around and wow. He was wearing sporty trackpants and a loose brown t-shirt.

"May I take a seat?"

Get it together y/n... assert the dominance assert...

"Sure, go ahead."

Eh could have been better.

"Since when do they sell Ramen noodles here? that's amazing!"

"Hmm I think they started around a year ago."

He was close, but as always not close enough to make you uncomfortable. He leaned in closer to look at your noodle flavor and you were losing your shit.

"Wow that's my favorite flavor, good choice."

"IT'S MY FAVORITE TOOO. *cough* I mean it's my favorite flavor too."

You couldn't see it, but you knew, you KNEW he was smirking, as he pushed you slightly over the edge.  
Without a word, both of you knew exactly what the other one was doing. You were having this kind of competition. Who is more dominant? Who has the upper hand? And you had to be honest, it was driving you crazy.

"And why exactly are you sitting here. Was I to hot to forget?"

"That might have been a reason why, but I really wonder, why u always shiver when I come closer?"

Shit he got you this time.

"I'm just cold. Don't flatter yourself pretty boy."

"You sure? It's summer and you are sweating."

It was incredibly hard for you, to hold back and not kiss him right then and there. You loved the way he fought for dominance.

"Whatever."

He chuckled and moved your chin with his pinky in his direction to the point where you were forced to look him in the eye. Which you confidently did. You were not giving it to him. You were not submitting. 

"I will be at the college party next week again. Meet me at the same spot we met yesterday. Do I make myself clear?"

He was grinning, but you felt him shiver under your confidence. 

"Yes ma'am. I will be there. See you beautiful. "

He winked at you and slowly stood up. Now you were straight up laughing.

"Just go already!"

The sexual tension with him was incredible, but deep down, you knew it wasn't only sexual. You just didn't want to admit that to yourself just yet.

"DID IT HAPPEN LIKE I THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD HAPPENED? WAS THAT HIM. THE TENSION Y/N,,, THE TENSIOON"

"Sasha is correct. The tension between you two is amazing."

"Yes that was him.. he was just being cocky and I was being cocky back, nothing much."

"Oh don't be silly. Y/n y/l/n! I know you... what did he say?"

"He didn't say much. I said, i will be at the same college party as last time and that he should meet me there again."

"Omg omg omg that's so amazing. So the 'problem' isn't so much of a problem anymore is it?"

"You're right.. wait Sasha, how did you know it was him? I barely mentioned what he looks like and how he carries himself." 

"Wait Sasha, let me explain this one. Honey, the way he looked at you. The second he saw you he had to take a double take. Not even a double take...a triple take and he was checking you out from top to bottom and smirking to himself."

"really?"

(Hey y'all... quick author's note. First of all thank you so much for reading through these 4 chapters already. Don't worry NSFW scenes will be coming, I just rlly want you, the reader to understand the sexual and general tension between the two main characters before we get into the spicy stuff. And yes Eren has a tongue piercing so be prepared ;))


	4. tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You got me there sweetheart."

tension 

'a social phenomenon that occurs when two individuals interact and one or both feel a desire, but the consummation is postponed or never happens.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You couldn't wait for it to be Saturday again. You were so fucking excited, that you physically couldn't take it anymore.

Sasha, Annie and you went out to buy yourselves some new hot ass clothes.

Annie got a suit that made her look hotter than most men in suits.  
Sasha got a green nicely fitting dress.  
And you, obviously, got yourself your own red dress, so you wouldn't have to borrow Sasha's anymore.

The three of you were ready to enter this party and turn the heads of everyone who laid eyes on you.

Sasha did the same hair and makeup on you, that she had done last time and the three of you headed out to the party.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

You entered the ginormous house and it was exactly the same as last time. Many drunk people walking around and liking each others faces off.

Sasha and Annie decided to head of alone, to quote on quote have some private time, so you could concentrate on him. 

While walking to the floor you were going to meet him on, you came across none other than Jean.

You had to be honest, he did look pretty handsome in that suit, but he was dead to you.

"Hey y/n... do you maybe wanna, you know, start things over. I will eat you out every day, I swear, just give me another chance!"

Your chuckle transformed into a full out laugh.

"Sorry Jean, but sadly I'm not as curvy, as that one girl you flirted with literally 10 fucking minutes after you fucked me 6 weeks ago. Fuck off!" 

You kissed him on the cheek, winked at him, let him stand there alone for the second time and kept walking to your real destination. HIM.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

(Do yourself a favor and play earned it by the weekend. It will make this scene so much more intense. Trust me!)

You entered the now familiar room, with the bar and a couple of people dancing. You couldn't see him anywhere, so you decided to just dance to pass the time. Earned it by the weekend was playing, so you slowly moved your body over the dance floor.

Out of nowhere, you felt a hand on your shoulder. You didn't have to turn. You knew it was him.

You started dancing together. It was a slow and sexy song, so you started grinding your hips without actually touching him to tease him a little. You turned your head far enough , to see him from the corner of your eye.

Surprisingly he was wearing a black suit. You weren’t expecting him dressed up.

"You have my consent to get closer and touch me. Please do it. Just do it. Please."

Even if this meant, he was taking control and winning your little contest, you didn't give a fuck. You needed this. You needed him. Right now. 

He grinned devilishly and slowly pressed his front against your backside and leaned into your neck until his lips were right next to your ear. You pushed back your ass a little bit more, to tease him and you could hear him groan under his breath directly into your ear.

With a smirk, you started grinding against him and you took control over his body again. You are a challenging person to dominate. But he wouldn't let you take that control away of him, so he grabbed your hips firmly with his muscular hands and guided you the way he wanted your body to flow.

He guided you through the slow music and showed your body exactly what it needed to do, to satisfy the both of you. 

"That's it beautiful... follow my lead."

Even if you were submitting to him again, you didn't care. This is what you want. You want someone to force you into submission. Force your dominant side out of you. You want to be treated like a brat.

"You may be taking the lead, but I can tell I am making you go crazy for me."

"You got me there sweetheart."

You continued following his lead, grinding against him and teasing him. His moans and groans were like music in your ears.

"Haa...I need to know your name."

"Y/n. Y/n, y/l/n."

"What a beautiful name. I wonder what it sounds like when it is being moaned."

This, this shit was ruining you. This man was crushing you and making you completely throw your dominance in the trash.

"May I know your name aswell handsome?"

"Eren. Eren Yaeger."

"What a great name, to be moaned by me that is."

Then it happened. You felt it growing. Slowly but surely his bulge became bigger and harder. Fuck'! I'm not sure if I can take him. It's massive.

"Fuck Y/n what are you doing to me? No one has ever made me this excited by just dancing."

"I'm not just anyone." 

He turned you around so you were facing each other and grabbed you by your waist again. He was so tall, you were addicted to his height. You wrapped your arms around his neck. With his left index finger, he lifted up your chin to force you to look at him. 

"Look beautiful, I don't want to sound like a fuckboy. Trust me I don't say this to everyone. Would you want to go back to my place with me? I don't want to force you in any way. You just do something to me that I can't explain."

"You want me to go home with you? hmm. I don't think you can handle me. I have needs you know."

You gripped his tie with your hand and pulled him closer.

"If I go with you, it's all in." 

He chuckled and his smile turned into a smirk, as he cupped your face and placed his thump on your lips.

"Don't worry beautiful. Trust me. You are going to beg for more."

"Hmm that's funny, because I have this feeling, that you are going to be the one begging for more." 

"We will see about that sweetheart."

"Now cover up your situation down there, before we go."

"Yes ma'am."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Y/n:  
Sasha don't wait up  
for me okay?  
Im going with Eren.  
I will send u  
my location as always  
just incase something  
happens.  
You two have fun <33

:You  
Ok lovebirds, have fun <33

"Annie it worked, she's fucking going to his place."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

The two of you left the Party and he brought you to his car.  
It was a gorgeous Mercedes Cabrio.

"Wait let me get that for you Y/n."

He opened the car door for you and let you enter his car, while holding your hand gently.

During the 20 minute car ride, you just listened to music and enjoyed the night sky. You really liked, that he wasn't talking all the time and letting you enjoy some quiet time.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"No no no, have you forgotten? I'm getting the door for you."

He opened the door and guided you out the same way he guided you in.  
You entered the apartment building and it was beautiful. It looked really expensive.

That was another thing you liked about him. It isn't even a question anymore. He is rich. But he didn't flex at all or was cocky about it. He was almost a little embarrassed about it.

The two of you used the elevator, went up to the 14th floor and opened his apartment door.


	5. pleasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do you want to or not?

(Honey for this chapter you better listen to love is a bitch by two feet, because it is going to make the tension immaculate)

pleasure 

'enjoyment or satisfaction derived from what is to one's liking; gratification; delight. worldly or frivolous enjoyment'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eren opened the door for you and let you enter his appartement first.  
It was very clean, organized, minimalistic and neat.

"Wow Eren, this is beautiful! Oh yeah, we should probably get to it then."

Eren slowly came closer, but he didn't kiss you or do anything sexual. He grabbed your hand and massaged your wrist.

"Sweetheart, we don't need to do anything. I would love to, but please don't feel pressured. Do you want to or not? Both is perfect."

"I do. I really do but alright, fuck. I'm not that experienced and I kind of still need some time to get into the mood. I'm not experienced, but I know what I want. And I don't know, if you can give me that."

Eren looked at you sweetly and chuckled.

"If that is the only problem, there is nothing you need to worry about beautiful. We will slowly find out, what we like and don't like. Let's set the mood for you."

He carefully pulled you to the bedroom. It was huge.

"Wow Eren this is... beautiful."

Eren smiled softly and opened the door again.

"You sit down on those chairs, while I get some things."

When he came back, he had some red whine and two whine glasses in his hands. Eren sat down next to you and handed u a glass of whine.

The two of you drank it, while gazing at each other every now and then.  
The lights in the room slowly turned red and some seductive music started playing.

"You are prepared i see."

The both of you started laughing at Eren's cute attempt to set the mood.

"I want to make it perfect for you.  
Today is your day. It's about your pleasure and your needs. Now let me ask you something. I can be a little rough in bed. Will you be okay with that?"

You started smirking and let your gaze pierce through his eyes.

"That's exactly what I want. I haven't had the experience to really go rough, but I am definitely into it."

"Is that so? Still I think it would be a good idea to use a safe word just incase you suddenly feel uncomfortable, or you feel pain. Just say.. let's say 'red' and I will immediately stop and check up on you. The most important part, is that you feel comfortable and you enjoy it. I am all about pushing limits, but enough is enough."

"Got it."

"Y/n, can I, kiss you?"

You just nodded. You didn't care about fucking dominance. You wanted him right there.  
Eren slowly leaned in and placed his first actual kiss on your forehead.  
Then he pecked your lips softly. 

Slowly he picked up the intensity and speed. You melted into his strong embrace, as your right hand traced to the back of his head into his hair, while your left arm wrapped around his neck. 

Eren traced his right hand over your cheek into your hair and his left hand rested on your left hip. 

You felt his bulge growing again and you smirked against his lips. This turned him on even more. He gave your hip a quick tight squeeze, which earned him your first moan.  
Eren grinned at your helplessness and entered your mouth with his tongue. Suddenly you flinched.  
Was that... metal?  
It felt weird but good at the same time.

Obviously, your tongues fought for dominance. You actually had the upper hand for a few seconds, but then Eren took over. His tongue was very skilled and it knew exactly what to do, to earn moans and whimpers from your beautiful mouth. 

Eren suddenly pulled away. He stood up and picked you up. You wrapped your legs around his torso and flinched again. You could feel his muscular body. He chuckled and continued to kiss you, while he carried you over to his bed.

He slowly let you sink into the bed, onto your back. Eren stood up infront of you and took of his top. He made sure to do it slowly so you were forced to look at every inch of his toned upper body. From his v line slightly showing, up to his collarbones.

Your eyes widened. You couldn't take your eyes off of him. Eren started smirking and tilted his head to the side.

"Like what you see gorgeous?"

You weren't going to give in.

"Maybe yes, maybe no."

You opened up your hair for the first time infront of him and now Eren was the one, who couldn't take his eyes off of you. He didn't even notice he was licking his lips.

"Like what you see?"

"Holy fuck yes, your hair is incredible."

Now that you had him hooked, you pretended that you weren't able to take your clothes off.  
Eren leaned forward and helped you take the dress off.

"Shit that dress drives me crazy y/n."

He stared at your almost naked body in awe. Eren leaned in and made you back up to the back of the bed. He was on top of you and looked down with a fire in his eyes. He had lust written all over him. Eren started aggressively kissing you and asserting his dominance. 

You suddenly stopped him and used all of your strength, to flip him over, so you could be on top.  
Eren was amazed at your confidence and determination while being in awe at the same time. 

"Kiss me y/n."

"The question is, do you want me to kiss you?"

"Fuck yeah."

You leaned in and your bodies melted together. Both of your bodies, were needy and grinding against each other getting hotter and hotter. As your moaning intensified, he pushed you over again to be on top.

"Alright love, this is what's going to happen. You are going to lay down onto the bed and close your eyes. No peeking allowed or i will be forced to cover your eyes with something. I will make your body crave, every inch of my body. Just wait and see. Today is all about your pleasure. Remember if you feel uncomfortable in anyway, say 'red'."

You didn't say anything. You just closed your eyes.

"How cute and submissive for me."

Total darkness surrounded you as  
you closed your eyes. The darkness made every touch more intense, because one of your senses was blocked.  
Suddenly you felt Erens plump lips, kiss and suck at your neck. You bit your lower lip and tried to hold in your moans and whimpers. You didn't want to give it to him. But you couldn't help your back arching, greedy for his lips.

Eren started chuckling between kisses.

"Sweetheart, even though biting your lips makes me go crazy, I need you to stop that. I want to hear your cute little moans. I need to hear the pleasure i am giving you. Keep those lips open. Right now, every inch of your body is mine and I want to hear what it thinks of me."

You just nodded and stopped biting your lips letting your moans fill the room.

"Just like that love?"

His lips trailed all over your collarbone area and your cleavage.  
Eren slowly opened your bra and started kissing your breasts lovingly.  
You moaned out loudly and without knowing it, confirmed his theory.

"You are really sensitive here aren't you? Hmm good to know." 

Suddenly Eren attacked your breasts and made you scream, without even beings close to your clit. The metal in his tongue, made the entire sensation even more intense and it made you tremble. Eren knew exactly what to do with the metal and how to twirl it around your stomach area.

Eren slowly got closer to your clit. He slowly started kissing around your panties and you went insane.

"Eren please stop teasing me. You are driving me crazy."

Eren grinned and slowly removed your panties. But he still continued teasing your needs. He started slowly kissing down the inside of your thighs, always making sure to skip the sensitive area by a few inches. Then out of nowhere, he attacked your clit.  
You flinched and arched your back even higher.

"Holy fuck- shit.. EREN!!!"

You moaning his name, was his goal, an euphoria for his ears.  
He had reached it earlier than expected. You tried to push your thighs together, but Eren wasn't having it. He grabbed your thighs with his hands and forced them open. Eren eating you out, was heaven on earth. His skilled tongue and the metal in his mouth, were circling your clit and your lips.

"You like that don't you"? Talk to me."

"I- I like it a fucking lot!"

"That's my girl."

Eren dived deep into your core with his tongue, as if his life depended on it.

You couldn't help yourself. You gripped his hair and bucked up your hips higher, to reach all of your sweet spots. You came within a couple of minutes. 

Eren helped you ride out every last wave of your orgasm and enjoy every last possible second of him.

As you slowly started to catch your breath and get up, he quickly pressed you down with his right hand.

"What do you think you're doing brat? I still have to clean you up."

Eren licked your juices off of your inner thighs and cleaned you up. After he was done he got back on top of you and started kissing you again. This time less lustful and more passionate. 

You pulled away in shook.

"Eren but I haven't helped you yet. You were the one getting the boner. I can help you, I really can."

He just laughed and looked at you.

"Don't worry darling, I already came, see." 

You were shocked to see, that he was right. He had already released. There was a wet stain on his expensive pants.

"But, I didn't do anything."

"Holy shit, yes you did."

He leaned into your ear.

"Remember, i didn't only eat you out for your pleasure. I ate you out for my pleasure aswell."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the amazing time with Eren, the both of you took a shower and drifted off to sleep rather quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut has entered the chat...


	6. reassurance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Anything love."

reassurance 

'the action of removing someone's doubts or fears.'

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the morning after. Like most people you do not like "morning afters". The morning after any sort of high, makes you feel a little sad and disappointed.

You had experienced a few hookups before and it was always the worst feeling waking up the next morning.

At least the bed felt nice and comfortable. You opened your eyes and immediately got hit with direct sunlight. You turned to your left and-

It was like you expected. He was gone. Of course Eren was gone. Why did you think it would be more than a hookup. You looked down at the chairs you and Eren had your first make out session yesterday.

"Ahh you're awake!! Good morning y/n." 

You flinched and turned to your right.  
Eren was standing next to his closet this whole time? 

"Good morning..for how long have you been awake?"

"Not very long.. but I wanted to still be in this room when you wake up, so I waited here."

You stood up to walk over to him but he turned away and started blushing.

"Ey Eren don't look away..."

"Darling you're fully naked except for your panties."

Oh fuck..  
As always he was being respectful...

"WHAT, oh shit I totally forgot. Where is my red dress?"

You started scanning the room until you found it lying on a pillow.

"It's Sunday morning, there's no way I am letting you put on an uncomfortable dress. Here take this."

Eren handed you a white oversized shirt. It looked similar to the one he was wearing yesterday.

"Thank you Eren, that's really nice of you."

He gave it to you and let you change while he looked away again.

"You don't have to look away you know. It's not like you haven't seen me naked yet."

He laughed softly while still looking away.

"For me it has a lot to do with consent and respect. I can look at you again if you want to but I can't promise you that I won't-"

"Won't what?"

"Ehh nothing, I forgot. Come on beautiful let's eat breakfast."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Of course his kitchen was perfect. Everything about him was perfect.  
There has to be something imperfect right?

Eren stood infront of the cooker and made some scrambled eggs.

He quietly hummed to himself hoping you wouldn't notice but you definitely did. It sounded nice and soothing.

"I didn't know you could sing."

"Eh what? That? That was nothing, sorry haha."

"Omg no don't worry i liked it."

Eren looked over his shoulder and smiled at you.

"Then I won't stop."

He was a whole different person today. Very nice and cute. Even a little shy. Compared to yesterday where he was very dominant and possessive.

Eren handed you your plate and sat down.

"Eren can I ask you a question?"

"Anything love."

"Ok so the first time i met you, you were wearing sweatpants and a Hoodie. But yesterday you were wearing a full on suit. Not saying the sporty clothes didn't look good on you but why did you suddenly dress differently?"

You could tell that you hit a certain spot he wasn't prepared for.

"Because yesterday, I knew I was going to meet you. The first time we met and the second time we met at the Café, it wasn't planned. But yesterday it was. Maybe I just wanted to look my best."

Your eyes widened and the both of you couldn't stop blushing at each other.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Alright handsome, the food was delicious, I'll see you around i guess. Have a good one."

Eren was standing in the doorframe and you couldn't take your eyes off his v-line.

"You too beautiful."

He winked at you while shutting the door.  
You had to admit, you were kinda sad. Was this how it is going to continue? Meeting him at a party, hooking up and going home the next morning. You took a deep breath and took an uber back to your dorm.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

You slowly opened the door just incase Sasha was still sleeping but-

"Haa- nghh... fuuuck."

Of course Annie and Sasha fucked all night long. You couldn't hold in your laughter and bursted out laughing.

"FUCK Y/N YOU'RE HERE ALREADY?"

"Seriously? The whole night? You two must have had a good time."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

After Annie left, you sat Sasha down and told her everything.

...

"And that's why I am forced to go to college parties hoping I run into him again."

"Oh nooooo you didn't exchange numbers. That's-  
Wait. Y/n? What's that?"

"What's what?"

Sasha pointed to your bag. She was right. A little note was stuck in the opening. It read : 1247291649 (phone number)

"That fucker. The whole time I thought I was doomed to look for him everywhere, while I was walking around with his phone number in my bag the whole time."

There it was again. Eren's other personality. The one that enjoyed seeing you submit and worry about him. Ok he won this round. But this shit isn't over yet. You pushed all of that away.

You had Eren's number. Was it more than just a hookup?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes this chapter didn’t have any smut but trust me it’s coming back soon.


	7. off-limits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I'm not done with you yet."

off-limits

'used to say that people are not allowed to enter a place or use something'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had texted with Eren a little bit over the past few days. It was always only small talk but it wasn't awkward at all. Is was comforting to have someone to talk to.

It was now Thursday and you decided to go to bed pretty early. At around 10 pm you walked over to your bed and fell asleep right away. You had an extremely stressful day at campus, so it was easy to doze of...

Ringgg...Ringgg...Ringgg...

"Who the hell is calling me at... 1 AM???. omg omg it's him."

You jolted up and answered your phone immediately.

"Hey Eren, what's wrong why are you calling me at 1 am? Is everything ok?"

"Yes don't worry, everything is fine. How are you."

"Hm I'm fine I had a really stressful day at campus today."

"Would you maybe want to release that stress beautiful?"

"You wanna do it? Now?"

"No dummy. I don't mean sex. Here's the plan. We meet up at Meds Beach in thirty minutes. You put on comfy clothes. And we just lay there and watch the stars. Trust me it will make you feel so calm and relieved."

Wait he doesn't wanna have sex. How is he so hot and respectful at the same time?

"Realllly? that would be amazing. Count me in. See you in thirty!"

"Of course. Anything for you."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

You hadn't been this excited for a long time. You were going to meet up with HIM at the beach at 1.30 am.  
On top of that it was his idea. He knows what he is doing.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

You finally reached meds Beach. As he demanded, you wore a comfortable oversized hoodie and some sweatpants. You stepped out of the subway and slowly walked over to the beach. It was almost completely empty. Except for, well Eren of course.

He was sitting on a blanket on the sand pretty close to the ocean. As he heard your footsteps coming closer, he turned his head around and smiled.

He wore a black oversized Hoodie and.. sweatpants, Grey sweatpants... of course Eren's wearing Grey sweatpants.

Eren patted the empty spot on the blanket next to him.  
After sitting down, the two of you stayed silent for a couple minutes.  
Surprisingly it wasn't awkward at all. You just gazed up to the beautiful sky. 

You decided to take a risk and slowly lowered your head down onto his shoulder. His eyes widened and you could feel Eren slightly flinch, but a few seconds later his body relaxed again and he put his head on yours.

"This is amazing Eren. You were right. This is almost therapeutic."

"I agree. I come here a lot in the evenings but I haven't ever come her with someone else before."

The butterflies in your belly were going crazy. Does he know what he is doing? What am I thinking? We are talking about Eren Yaeger here. Of course he knows what he's doing.

You spent another 30 minutes just curdled together and gazing at the stars.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Y/n? Do you want to go back to my place? "

In that moment, you decided to tease him a little. You weren't an easy catch. You started grinning.

"Why exactly do you want me to come back to your place?"

"I like spending time with you."

"I guess so, if you're so obsessed with my presence."

The both of you started laughing. You had always been a huge flirt.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Have you forgotten beautiful? Let me get the door for you."

With that he opened his appartement door and let you take the first step inside.

It was as beautiful as you had remembered it to be.

The both of you sat down on his sofa in the living room.

(If you want the full audible tension, listen to 'I feel like I'm drowning' by two feet ;)

"Eren. I want to do it."

Eren was flustered for a few seconds but then the horny side of him took over.

"Excuse me, but I don't understand. What do you want to do love? I'm confused."

That fucker... this is karma I guess.

"Eren, you know exactly what I want."

Eren put on an innocent and confused face.

"No I actually don't. What could you possibly want from me?

You rolled your eyes.

That was enough for him. He stood up and pulled you up from the sofa. Eren pulled you over to the nearest wall and pinned you against it. Both of his hands were an inch away from your face on both sides.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me? Now y/n, I won't do anything until you tell me what you want."

You grabbed the back of his head and pulled him closer.

"I want you, to shut the fuck up and kiss me."

Eren gave you a quick smirk and crashed his lips into yours. This time he didn't start slow and steady. He was extremely needy and Eren didn't have time for little kisses tonight.

God how much you missed his tongue. This new feeling of the metal in his mouth made every kiss a billion times better. This time, he didn't even give you a chance to dominate him for a second. Eren was to turned on for your little games. 

The kiss got more intense by the second and your body was going crazy for him. You tried to trace your hands over his body but he wasn't having it. Eren took you arms, crossed them over and pinned them over your head with one hand, while his other hand was tangled in your hair.

Eren took the hand tangled in your hair and lifted up your right leg so he could make more room for his body.

After a long make out session, Eren took his left hand and lifted up your other leg. So now both of your legs were around his waist.

Eren lifted you off the wall and carried you over to his bedroom while still kissing you intimately.

He let you down infront of his bed and you started taking off each others clothes as quickly as possible. You pulled of Eren's hoodie and were hit with his extremely toned body. You missed him so much. 

Eren pulled of your hoodie.

"Shiit y/n you naughty girl. Are you trying to push me over the edge completely?"

You had a little surprise for him.  
Under your clothes, you wore an extremely revealing and seductive red lingerie set because you knew Eren is obsessed with the color red on you.

You quickly tried to take off his pants but suddenly he grabbed both of your wrists and looked deep into your eyes.

"No young lady, you can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Ok y/n you need to listen to me. You have felt my crotch before. It's a little big. It's bigger than you think. I'm not saying this to be cocky, I just truly don't want to hurt you."

"Eren I'm sure I can fit it-"

"Y/n not yet. Not even your pretty mouth is able to fit me."

Eren placed his thump on your lips.

"Let me tell you a secret. I have never released inside of a woman, because they couldn't take it anymore and it started hurting, so I immediately pulled out. But with you. Shit I'm really telling you this. With you, I'm not going to be able to control myself. As soon as I enter you for the first time, I will not be able to stop. Believe me, I want to fuck you right now on this bed. But I don't have self control around you. I will prepare you for it and one day I will do it. But that day is not today. I'm sorry sweetheart but there is no way I am hurting you."

You were shocked. Then you thought about it. You hadn't actually seen his length before. And from feeling it, you could already tell it is massive. 

"Fine. But promise me, that one day you will do it!"

"That's a good girl. Yes I promise. I will prepare you for it."

Eren leaned in to kiss you again but this time you stopped him in his tracks.

"No no no young man. You can't do that. Let me atleast do something. Get onto your bed and lean back against the headboard."

Eren started chuckling.

"Your wish is my command sweetheart."

You leaned into him and started kissing his neck.  
Eren immediately threw his head back. He wasn't expecting all this pleasure just by you kissing his neck.  
You slowly moved down to his chest. 

Your tongue attacked his warm nipples. Eren threw his head back even more and arched his back.

"If you arch your back one more time I'll stop. Keep it down pretty boy."

He obeyed immediately. Your mouth explored Erens chest and your tongue circled around his nipples. 

"Fuuuck. Nghhh keep going, please keep going."

You smirked against his heated body and slowly trailed your tongue down to his abs and v line. You licked every single muscle on his chest and took your sweet time giving Eren multiple hickeys. 

After his whole torso was full with kisses and dark marks, you learned in to his mouth again and began kissing him again.

"Y/n... that was... amazing. You trying to dominate me, turns me on even more. You won this round but now it's my turn."

(Warning: mention of self harm in the past, mention of self harm scars and mention of suicidal thoughts. I will give a sign when the topic is over.)

Eren turned you over and pinned your arms above your head. He kissed down your body and slowly got closer to your core. 

"Eating you out is the least I can do to apologize princess."

Suddenly you panicked. 

"WAIT EREN. Today the nightsky is a little brighter so you will be able to see them."

You quickly covered your thighs.

"To see what?"

"I have self harm scars on my thighs. I had a fucked up childhood and my life as a teenager was hell. I don't want to talk about it right now but basically I had problems with self harm and I still have some self harm scars on my thighs and I am really insecure about them because they show my weakness."

Eren smiled softly and laid his head down on your upper thigh.

"Love, those scars don't define you. Your scars don't show your weakness, they show your strength. You were so strong. You are a fucking fighter. You didn't give up on life. You fought through it. I am incredibly proud of you. You came a long way."

He carefully lifted up your hands and kissed ever single scar on both of your thighs.

"These are beautiful. You're my little fighter."

(End of sensitive topic.)

You couldn't help it. A little tear trailed down your cheek.

"No princess, don't cry."

Eren reached up to your face and wiped away your tear.

"Thank you so much Eren. I'm so happy you support me. Now please fucking continue I'm so horny."

He started laughing and kissed back down to your core.

Eren slowly removed the red lingerie. This time he didn't tease you. Eren attacked you with a lot of force. You couldn't help your back arching up for his tongue. The metal felt so fucking amazing. He knows what to do with it. His tongue felt like heaven on earth. He buried himself as deep as he possibly could. Eren ate you out like he hadn't eaten in weeks. He entered you with 2 fingers and curled them inside of you to intensify your pleasure.

You threw your head back as far as humanly possible and screamed out his name.

"Look at me beautiful. I need you to look at me. I will stop immediately if you look away. I want to see your beautiful face. I want to see your lips parting perfectly while moaning my name."

Holy shit you're a sucker for his voice. You lifted your head again and looked deep into his emerald eyes.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Eren took his sweet time eating you out until you physically couldn't cum anymore. You gripped his hair even harder, not being able to cum for the 7th time.  
Eren pulled away for a second with his lips all glistened and swollen.

"You look so cute when you're on the edge beautiful. I'm not done with you yet."


	8. temper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Drive.”

(Warning: this chapter contains depiction of violence)

temper 

'a person's state of mind seen in terms of their being angry or calm.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night with Eren had been amazing. Even though you were sad to find out, that the two of you would have to stick to foreplay for now, you knew he can still satisfy you more than anyone else.

On Friday evening Eren asked you, if you wanted to go to a college party with him on Saturday.

Of course you said yes. Everything is perfect right now. Despite knowing that the both of you like each other, you decided to keep it more low key and move slow and steady. You wanted this relationship to work and rushing things would make everything more complicated.

Basically you and Eren are doing things as if you were dating, but you aren't putting a label on it just yet.

Sasha is also very excited for you because she knows that you have a rough time committing to someone. You often push people away but she started realizing, that you had become way happier since you and Eren had started things off together.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eren picked you up from your place and the two of you arrived at the party a few minutes later.  
Being the gentleman he is, he opened the door for you and let you take your time exiting the car.  
Eren was wearing the suit he had worn the time you had sex for the first time and you wore a silk nude dress you had thrived and altered.

You entered the party house. It couldn't really pass as a quote on quote party though. The theme was elegant and it had more of a gala vibe to it.

That didn't stop college students to still get drunk and treat it like a frat or sorority party.

"Do you want to get drinks with me darling? I'm really thirsty."

You gave Eren a simple nod and you wondered over to the bar.

Oh fuck it's Jean.

Eren could read the irritation straight off of your face.

"Y/n what's wrong. I can tell something is bothering you."

"Do you see that dude over there in in the weird ass suit?"

"Yeah I see him."

"He is the reason I originally came to the party where we first met. Basically we hooked up once and by the way it was very average, but after 10 minutes of us finishing up, I heard him flirting with a girl and saying that he fucked me a few minutes ago but now he wants to fuck her because she is way prettier and sexier than me. It really hurt to hear that and it sucks that I have to see him all the time."

"Now first of all that can't be true because you are the prettiest and sexiest woman on earth and second of all what a bastard. You know what honey? How about you go back to our table while I get the drinks?"

Eren always manages to add charm into his sentence and make you blush.  
You just gave him a thankful nod and a smile and left him be.

It felt nice just sitting at your table and catching your breath while Eren got your drinks. You were really not in a the mood for a full on conversation with Jean. Not today.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Suddenly there was a change in atmosphere. The party sounded a lot, louder in a way and a lot of people were heading to the bar.  
Has world thirst broken out or what was going on?

Despite being annoyed, that you couldn't enjoy your piece and quiet at your table anymore, you decided to check out the situation. Why not witness some college drama?

As you walked around you couldn't make out a lot because half of the party was standing around the bar.  
You just hoped Eren was ok.  
The only thing you could see, was that two men were fighting next to the bar. Well one of them was definitely overpowering the other. Actually after closer analysis, it seemed like they weren't fighting per say. One was beating up the other. You wondered what the story behind the beating was all about.

But then you realized...

"Wait hold on, I know those suits. No- it can't be..."

You pressed yourself through the crowd with force until you could see it quite clearly. Your jaw dropped and you froze in your steps.

Jean and Eren. Eren was fucking beating up Jean. He was boxing him harshly in every place he could expect for Jean's face. But he was, smiling while doing it?

It took you a minute to get back to earth. You couldn't believe it.

You fully pressed through the crowd and walked up to the men angrily.

"ENOUGH YOU TWO!!!!"

Eren stopped immediately. And you couldn't fucking believe it. He was smiling at you. As if he was proud of what he'd done.

You had enough and took his arm and pulled him. Pulled him away from the center spot and out of the house. You pulled him all the way to his car. You didn't let him open the door for you, in fact, you opened his door pushed him in and then got into the car yourself.

"Drive."

Eren could obviously tell that something was wrong, so he silently obeyed and drove you to his apartment.  
I~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You entered his appartement together and you didn't even let him say a fucking word.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU EREN YAEGER. YOU CAN'T JUST... you can't just FUCKING BEAT SOMEONE UP. I KNOW JEAN IS A BASTARD BUT YOU CANT JUST BEAT HIM UP FOR IT. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? HE IS SERIOUSLY HURT. YOU HAVE ANGER ISSUES,I CAN FUCKING TELL, BUT YOU NEED TO KEEP IT TOGETHER."

"IM REALLY SORRY, BUT HE WAS SO FUCKED UP TO YOU. WHY ARE YOU DEFENDING HIM? I BEAT HIM UP BECAUSE HE FUCKING DESERVED IT."

You took a deep breath to calm yourself down a little. Screaming at each other is not going to help solve this situation.

"That isn't even my biggest problem. While beating him up, you weren't looking angry or frustrated or sad seeing his wounds. You smiled, you fucking smiled. It didn't affect you at all that you literally injured another human Eren. You need to get yourself and your emotions under control!"

Eren looked sad and actually really sorry. You could tell that you got the message through to him.

"Look y/n I'm so sorry. I really am, you have to believe me. It was just the feeling of knowing, that that bastard was inside of you and then ended up being an asshole to you, that pushed me over the edge. Please forgive me y/n. Please, I'm really sorry. It won't happen again ok? I promise"

You knew that his apologiy was sincere. You are a psychology major after all, so it wasn't so hard to tell. Still you were extremely upset and mad at him for doing it.

"Thank you for your apology Eren, but I need a night to think about this. I will sleep on the sofa tonight."

Eren just nodded sadly. He respected your decision and was just really thankful, that you accepted his apology at all. Eren really wanted to better himself for you. As long as he doesn't see Jean again, that shouldn't be a problem...

(I know this chapter didn't contain any smut but girllll I have a storyline to bring across haha. For the people who only want to read smut, I am planning on writing a fanfiction with just Eren one-shots. So basically only smut. Would some of you be interested in a fanfic with just Eren smut and no storyline?)


	9. forgive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Now where do you think you're going?“

forgive 

'stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone for an offence, flaw, or mistake'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After sleeping on the situation, you felt way more relaxed and calm. Obviously what Eren did was so wrong and not okay, but you felt like he actually meant his apology.

It sounds cheesy but everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect. This is Erens imperfection.  
Anger issues. You just hope that he will be able to get his emotions under control because you don't think you can accept his apology if it happens again.

Eren was really sweet today. He made you breakfast and the two of you had a nice chat in the kitchen.

You decided to go on a little shopping trip together to calm your nerves.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After shopping in the mall for around 2 hours, it was time to eat lunch. You stopped at a local sushi restaurant and quickly found a table to sit at.

"Eren. There is one last thing that needs to happen before we can forget about this."

"I will do anything. Whatever it takes."

"You are calling Jean an-"

"WHAT? I mean what? Nooo not him. Anything but him."

"Eren."

You looked deep into his eyes and raised your right eyebrow.  
Eren knew there was no way to change your mind and get out of this.

"What's his number?"

"28591749194."

Eren typed Jean's number into his phone and nervously tapped on "call".

Eren: H-hey Jean.  
Jean: Who's this?  
Eren: It's uhh the guy that beat you up yesterday h a h a  
Jean: YOU!!! Do you have any idea where I am right now?  
Eren: Eh no..  
Jean : At the fucking hospital you bastard!  
Eren : Oh uh yeah sorry bro. Look, I'm really sorry for yesterday. I have some problems with my anger and I had to let it out. I know that is in no way shape or form an explanation, but I just wanted to sincerely apologize.  
Jean : Mhm. You're calling because you wanted to apologize?

Eren nervously looked over to you. You heard every second of the call and for some weird reason, you enjoyed seeing him nervous.

Eren : Ju-up totally my idea just wanted to uh make sure we're cool h a h a  
Jean : Whatever, thanks for your apology I guess.

click..

Eren put the phone down and looked at you with a nervous expression, asking for your approval. You gave him a smile and a nod.

You felt relieved. Eren managed to control his ego enough, to call Jean and apologize. It would still take time for you to fully forgive him, but for now Eren had done everything he could to apologize and you were thankful for that.

After finishing your lunch, the two of you decided to go to Eren's place to just chill around to enjoy each others company.

His appartement was as clean as ever and it smelled nice and fresh.  
You went to his bedroom and Eren put on a show.  
It was an anime. You had to admit that you had never watched anime before, but you were interested in what the hype is all about. 

Eren sat at the back of the bed, leaning against the headboard, while your head was resting on his thighs.

"Ok Y/n. This anime is really good, I have been bringing it for the last few months. It's called attack on titan. Have you heard of that before."

"I think I've heard Sasha mention it once. Is it similar to that kids show Teen titans go or something?"

"Not at all it's way more brutal and well, not kid-friendly. I don't want to spoil you but basically there are giants who are called 'titans' and they eat humans. There aren't many humans left. The only humans left on earth are located inside massive walls in Germany. The walls are so high because that way the titans can't reach over them. There is way more to the story and it's not as simple as you might think, but I won't tell you. You will have to find out yourself."

" Ok sounds interesting. I can't wait to watch it."

After a while of watching attack on titan you got a little bored. And being to woman you are, you had a kinda exiting idea. You smirked to yourself, thinking about how exactly you were going to fulfill your plan.

"Eren can you stand up for a second and come with me to my bag next to the chairs."

"Sure darling."

Yes! Perfect he was following your lead. You went to the bag and pulled out a chapstick that was mint flavored.

You made sure to stand directly across from Eren, only a few feet away. He was clueless about what you were about to pull on him.

"I found this chapstick at Sephora the other day and I felt like you could- ups omg I dropped it."

Eren was about to pick it up but you stopped him.

"Don't worry, I got it. What a shame. I need to be more careful next time."

You slowly got on your knees and picked up your chapstick. As you reached the floor, you pretended to be a little instable and grabbed his ankle for "support". 

Eren slightly shivered at your touch.  
You slowly lifted up your head and looked deep into Erens eyes. You were on your knees infront of him, grabbing his ankle and looking up at him innocently.

Looking at him made your realize that what you were doing, had worked better than you had anticipated it. Eren was looking down at you playing around with his tongue inside of his mouth and pressing it against his cheeks.

Eren was turned on as fuck. After a few seconds his length came forth aswell.

"And what exactly are you doing, looking at me like that young lady?"

"Nothinggg, I was just a little instable while picking up my chapstick. I'll get myself a glass of water I'll be right back."

You stood up and tried to head out of the room but Eren grabbed your wrists faster than you had expected. Your plan had worked and you grinned holding in a chuckle as much as possible. 

"Now where do you think you're going? That grinn won't stay on your face for much longer darling. I'm not dumb, I know what you're doing."

Eren turned you around and pressed his front side against yours. You felt his massive length. It was harder than it had ever been before.

"Do you feel what you have done? We will have to fix that, don't we?"


	10. lost control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hmm, I think not."

lost control 

'to be unable to control something'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eren grabbed your chin harshly and crashed his lips into yours. He was definitely not going to go easy on you today. You liked that. You had teased him because you wanted him to go rough and not give you any mercy. You could tell that he was extremely fired up. He mumbled words between his needy kisses.

"You want... me ... so bad... huh? That little game of yours was cute but... now let me pull you back to my world and...my rules."

Eren tried to be dominant but you found it quite amusing, how he couldn't even finish a sentence before having the need to kiss you again. The two of you slowly made your way to his bed but before you could fall onto the bed he pulled you back in again. 

"We will get to that later, but right now I need you to stay still. Let me give you the pleasure you seem to desire more than anything else."

Not knowing what Eren was planning, made it even more exciting. Eren quickly reached to his bedside table and pulled out a sleeping mask. He sat down on his bed and made you lean in so that he could put it around your eyes.

"You don't seem to have a lot of experience with blindfolding pretty boy. You're using a sleeping mask. How cute."

"Pfft i just haven't had anyone who i trust enough to do this with. Just wait and see beautiful. Well in this case don't see. You're going to be blindfolded."

You were flustered at his words. Eren knew how to seduce you. You were sure that if Eren wanted to, he could make you cum only using his words. But that wouldn't be as fun as this. You let him put the Blindfold on. Total blackness surrounded you. You got flashbacks to the first time he ate you out. Instant bliss entered your mind and you could feel your underwear getting wetter and wetter.

"How does it feel to have no control about what's about to happen princess? Right now, you are fully under my control. And you won't do anything about it because you enjoy it to much. That's my slut."

Eren lifted you up and made you straddle his right thigh. He grabbed your waste and started guiding your movement. He made you ride his thigh. Eren started of slow to give you time to adjust to his guide and earn the full pleasure. It felt intoxicating. The only thing you felt in that moment was his thigh and his strong hands guiding your waist. Slowly Eren increased the pressure and the pace of your grinding. The pleasure set in earlier than expected, because one of you senses was blocked.  
After a while you couldn't hold it in anymore. You started moaning and whimpering as quiet as possible but of course Eren heard every little sound and grinned at your helpless needy sounds.

"Nghh... I have never felt this ... haaa... sensation before this is to much for me, please."

You reached behind his neck and grabbed his back for support. But this time you actually needed support. The pleasure was taking over every nerve in your body and it was the only thing you could think about. You had never felt so good.

"E-eren this is to much for me to haaa.. handle."

"You're doing so good darling, you're doing so good for me."

Your moans started gaining volume and you were getting weaker by the second. You were holding on to Eren for dear life.

"Y/n you're all mine. All fucking mine. No one else can have you. No one fucking one. Who is giving you this pleasure beautiful? Who do you belong too? Say my name for me."

You moaned out his name with such a breathy tone that it was almost not understandable. Eren was very different today. Way more possessive and protective. Was he still thinking about Jean? He called you "his" for the first time today. Is he jealous? The pleasure washed all of those feelings away. You enjoyed him to much too think about that shit right now.

You felt your climax getting closer and closer as the knot in your stomach and core intensified.

"E-eren can i please... come? Please let me cum?

Eren started moving your hips faster signalling that you were allowed to release. Euphoria took over your body. The knot in your stomach exploded and you had to throw your head back from the immense pleasure. After the pleasure left your mind, your body couldn't hold itself up anymore. You fell directly into Eren's chest. Dropping your hands behind his back and placing your head on his shoulder.

Eren gave you enough time to slowly get back to reality. He carefully patted you on your head. He leaned into your ear.

"Now normally this would be it and we would go to sleep but because you pulled that move on me before, I can't allow that. It's not over yet sweetheart. Before we resume let's clean you up a little."

You thought he meant going down on you and to be honest, you weren't looking forward to that today, because the climax you had reached a few minutes ago was enough to knock you out. 

But Eren didn't mean it in a sexual way. He brought a pair of comfortable pants the two of you had bought today and pulled off your now completely wet one's. Eren cleaned you from top to bottom and made sure you felt nice and clean. He hadn't shown this type of affection before and it felt nice to experience his soft side.

"Again, I would stop here but you made me to horny to just let you go."

His words were enough to turn you on again in seconds. But it wasn't a need of receiving, it was a need of giving. 

You wanted to do something to him. Eren had always satisfied you. You wanted to give him the same sensation. You started playing around with his belt.

"Y/n you know we can't do that... but after seeing you on your knees..N0! I don't want to hurt your jaw."

"Please let me do something Eren. You always give me pleasure but I never get to give it back." 

You could see Eren was struggling to keep calm. His body was working against him. Eren's boner was hard as a rock and after seeing you on your knees he knew it would be hard to come any other way. Finally, Eren lost control over his body.

"Fuck y/n! Why can't I control myself when I'm around you? Okay we can try. But please go slow because if you go to fast I will be greedy for more and that won't end well for anyone." 

You smirked and slowly opened his pants. He sat down on the edge of the bad and you got back onto your knees.

"You look so hot from up here love."

Eren's v line was so attractive. In your opinion the v line is one of the most sexy parts on men's bodies.  
You pulled down his pants completely and gasped. It was massive. Way bigger than you had expected. 

"I warned you."

You tried to hide your amazement but it wasn't working. You got your mind back together. You aren't a virgin. You know what to do, it's just a lot bigger and thicker.

You took his length into your hands and gave it a small kiss on the tip.  
Immediately his body flinched under your slight touch.

You gave his slit a quick lick.  
You couldn't believe it. Eren was already going crazy with the simplest gestures. It makes sense. He is just very touch starved in that area.

"Haa.. Y/n stopp... teasing."

"Hmm, I think not."

You licked from the very bottom of his shaft up to the tip in a clean straight line. Then you slowly started circling the tip with your tongue. Eren couldn't keep himself from growling non stop.

In a split second you started sucking. Eren's body jolted up and he screamed out your name.  
Sucking him off was very painful and your jaw was already hurting but you didn't want to give up. This was his day and his pleasure. 

You caressed his entire shaft with your tongue, while still continuing to bop you head up and down to give him the maximum amount of pleasure. You made sure to not leave out his balls. You gave them a lot of attention aswell.

It fired you up even more the way Eren was responding to your movements. He tried to talk and seduce you while you sucked him off, but the bliss you gave him stopped him from being able to form sentences and even words.

He was on the edge of losing complete control but he knew if he would he would really hurt you. Eren's body was truly fighting against his mind. His hands were constantly trying to reach to your head to press you up and down and pressure you into a quicker pace but he knew if he would do that, it would be extremely painful and that was the last thing Eren wanted.

You could feel his legs starting to shake, signalling to you, that his climax was almost there. You quickened your speed as far as you could without it hurting too much. Eren was so close.

"SHIIIIIIIIIIT Y/NNNNN!"

The warm liquid shot into your mouth. You quickly swallowed it down and let Eren ride out his high while giving his shaft little licks.

"Y/n that was fucking amazing. Are you okay though?"

"Yes I'm fine Eren, don't worry. Remember, you don't have to let out your anger on anyone else. You can always let me handle it because I now know, how to make your body greedy for my touch and forget everything else."


	11. suspicion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do I always have to have a specific reason? I just wanted to see you again."

suspicion 

'the act or an instance of suspecting something wrong without proof or on slight evidence'

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The past week felt like a year. It was finals week and your professors decided to challenge the absolute most out of their students.

Every day you were crouching down at your desk with massive books surrounding you, trying to fit as much information into your brain as possible.

You thought back to your big sister telling you that psychology is an easy major and it is super chill and relaxing. And you dumbass believed her. Psychology is way harder than people think an not many excel at it.

You were doing fine. Actually, you were quite talented but it was still annoying dealing with statistics about the human brain.

Throughout the whole week you decided to turn off your phone because there was no way that you were going to get distracted by anyone. 

You had to pass these exams and they were your top priority.

Finally the last Final came around.  
You were exhausted because you had pulled an all nighter the day before and you were basically living off of coffee.

But you pulled yourself together and entered the exam room with pride and excitement, considering this hell of a week to almost be done.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

After your exam was finished, you headed straight back to your dorm.

Sasha wasn't back yet because her physics exam had started a while after yours. 

You mindlessly plopped down onto your bed and turned your phone on again for the first time in 5 days.

Immediately your eyes jumped to a certain text message from a certain someone.

Eren:  
Meet me at 5 at the  
Italian restaurant at  
Meds Beach on Friday,  
cutie

Your eyes lit up in excitement and the butterflies in your belly erupted in seconds. This was what you needed. After such a stressful week, spending time with Eren would be your perfect escape.

You didn't bother answering because he knew you would come if you see the message. Eren knew you were longing for his presence.

Without any second thought or hesitation, you picked out something to wear. It was quite a chilly day, so you opted for a deep brown roll neck, some beige pants and an oversized dark blue suit that your mom passed down to you from the 80s. 

You quickly texted Sasha about your whereabouts and headed out to the restaurant by train.

You arrived at exactly 5 pm and swung open the door of the petite Italian restaurant. It was very beautiful and cozy. It felt like you walked straight into italy despite still being at a beach in America.

It took you a while, but you finally found where Eren was sitting.

He was sitting at a little table in the way left corner of the room. The seats were coated with red velvet and they looked alluring to sit on.

Eren flashed you a quick genuine smile and gestured you to sit down.

"Wow you look beautiful Y/n."

You hid your face a little so he couldn't see your blushing cheeks.

"Sooo why did you want to meet up?"

"Do I always have to have a specific reason? I just wanted to see you again."

Those words hit harder than anything else. Thinking back to how it started out. Purely physical. You both honestly just wanted pleasure, but now your "relationship" with Eren had contorted into way more of a loving and comforting connection.

The both of you didn't expect it to go as far as this but you were pushed into a flow and it was too late. Eren and you had both already caught feelings for each other. 

You and Eren were truly made for each other. You look for men who are dominant and confident. Men who force you into submission. But also men, who still have a soft spot. A soft spot for you and only you.

Where as Eren looks for women, who are stubborn and strong hearted. He personally doesn't take a liking in women, who are extremely needy and throw themselves at him. Extremely submissive women aren't his type. Eren needs a challenge. And you are exactly what he is looking for.

The both of you are very proud and stubborn people. You fight for control and dominance. You are up for the challenge and you crave the chase. 

That's why the relationship between Eren and you was going so smoothly. You balence each other out.

And now here you were on a date with Eren Yaeger. The man who stole you heart from day one.

The two of you started chatting about life and just general topics.

After a while the food came and you enjoyed every last second of it.

But then out of nowhere, Eren's eyes widened. He wasn't looking at you, he was looking behind you.

Confused, you slowly turned around.

In the entryway of the restaurant stood a tall man and a ,compared to him, tiny young lady.

The man had blonde hair and a blonde beard. He wore glasses and was smoking a cigarette even if you aren't allowed to smoke inside.  
You couldn't shake his similarities to Eren off.

The woman next to him was very different though. She had long presumably soft and silky blonde hair. Her hair fell around her face perfectly. On top of that she had ginormous blue eyes with such an innocent shine within them. Her body was tiny and fragile but it was shaped perfectly. She was everything you wanted to be. She was perfect.

"Zeke, Historia? What are the two of you doing here already?"

Eren was smiling and his eyes were glowing.

Sadness flushed over your body. This was the first time Eren truly hurt you. You felt empty all of a sudden. You tried to convince yourself that you were just overreacting as always, but you couldn't shake the feeling away.

Eren stood up, completely ignoring you and rushed over to the pair standing at the door. 

He hugged the guy first and then leaned down and embraced the woman softly.

You were just sitting there. Frozen. Eren was hugging this perfect girl. Envy was the only thing your mind was fabricating in that moment.

You noticed them coming closer and put on a perfect smile, hiding your true emotions.

"Y/n, this is my older half brother Zeke Yaeger. And this is our very good friend Historia Reiss. The two of them were in Germany for a while and they said they wouldn't return until next year. But here they are."

You continued your act of kindness and gave the two of them a genuine looking smile.

"Hey I'm Y/n Y/l/n, I'm Eren's F-friend."

Publicly saying that you were only Eren's friend felt draining. Yes it was true. Officially the two of you are only "Friends" but the two of you knew you are more than that.

"I wouldn't say just that Y/n."

Eren smiled at you. You understood that he meant the two weren't just friends. But it still kind of hurt that he couldn't pluck of the courage to actually say the whole word.

"Hiiii Y/n I'm Historia. OH omg right Eren already said that. OMG yeah Eren and I have been friends since FOR EVER. I remember that in kindergarten we even promised to get married one day."

She laughed shyly but you could almost taste her fakeness in your mouth. You know and have learned to hate these types of people. You cringed with every word that left her lips. She was obviously flirting with Eren while knowing that the two of you were basically together. She fucking knew it.

You just nervously laughed it off and scooted to the side, kindly gesturing Historia to hop in.

"Ohhhh no I'm fineee. Actually I think I am going to sit next to Erenii. We're reaaaaalllly close you know? hihi."

It was extremely hard to hide your growing disgust.

What a bitch, what a fucking bitch.

You could tell that Zeke was also a little confused. He also knew Eren and you were basically together and wondered why Eren wasn't saying anything. He passed Historia and sat down next to you. He carefully scooted to your ear and whispered

"Don't mind Historia. She can be clingy sometimes."

You gave him a quick smile, pretending that everything was okay. But everything was not fucking okay. You had to watch Historia flirt with Eren infront of your eyes. A beautiful woman flirting with the guy you like. 

It was torture to your eyes and your heart. Thankfully you were good at hiding your emotions.

"Hihihihi Erennnnn that's not funnnnny. I know I'm soo short. Wait oh em gee your hands are so big. Let's compare them."

You sat there with your eyes wide open in shock as Historia and Eren placed their hands on top of each other.

You couldn't believe your eyes.

Is she for real? What happend to girls supporting girls?

The worst part about this whole situation was that Eren wasn't doing anything. Eren wasn't flirting with Hiatoria per say, but he was doing everything that Historia wanted. He didn't seem uncomfortable. Eren totally ignored you. It felt like the two of them were on a date and you and Zeke were the awkward third weel.

You and Zeke exchanged awkward glances. You wondered how Zeke managed to spend time with Historia without completely freaking out.

Then it happend. The final straw. Historia placed her fucking head on Eren's shoulder and that asshole wasn't doing anything.

You snapped.

"That's fucking enough I'm leaving."

You slammed your hands on the table, gaining the entire restaurant's attention. Zeke understood your gesture and quickly stood up to give you room. 

You stood up in seconds and speed walked a few meters. Then you took a deep breath and turned around.  
You stared deep into Erens eyes.  
He could see the immense rage and anger in your eyes.

"Have fun lovebirds."

You turned around again and walked out of the restaurant. You had never ever been this mad. How could Eren just let this whole thing happen.

"Wait darling, don't leave please.. i need you."

You couldn't believe it. You froze in your tracks and turned around.

"Don't fucking Darling me Eren Yeager."

You turned around once more and stormed out of the restaurant.

"Y/nnn!"

The last thing you heard was Historia calming Eren down.

"Just let her leave Eren, you have us!"

Hearing that bitch say those words finally broke your tough barrier. Your eyes started tearing up. You started running to the next trainstation. You didn't want to give Historia the satisfaction of your tears. 

As you finally entered the train, you bursted out crying. You held your jacket infront of your face to mute yourself. At least that worked. No one noticed your emotional outbreak. You didn't need any pep talk from random strangers, who would pretend to care, right now. You needed Sasha and a cup of fucking coffee.


	12. weakness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yeah, some fucking commonsense!"

weakness 

'the state or condition of being weak'

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Y/n I am so sorry. I really am. What a dick. And not only him. That pick me bitch Historia really has it out for you. She is probably just jealous."

"Sasha, she is perfect.. fucking perfect. Perfect body, perfect face, perfect charm. Everything I want to be."

You layed your head on Sasha's thigh carefully. You don't like physical touch that much and you only do it when you really have a connection with someone. Romantically or just in general. A big reason for your sensitivity to touch was definitely your fucked up childhood.

Touch turned into your love language. And you only express it when you are feeling extremely happy or very sad. By cuddling up to Sasha, she could sense you intense discomfort.

"You know, there is one thing that bitch doesn't have."

"Yeah, some fucking commonsense!"

"Yeah that too but most importantly, a personality. We should feel bad for her. Her only personality trait is being a pick me girl. It will come back to haunt her someday."

You had to be honest. What Sasha said was really comforting. She was right. Historia really has to have a fucked up life if she goes as far as flirting with Eren right infront of your eyes.

You obviously didn't feel bad for her. Not at all. Right now she may have men wrapped around her little pinky but one day they will discover her real intentions.

At least that's what you hoped.  
Even if was is kind of mean, thinking about Historia being dropped by men and being embarrassed made you feel way better. You even smiled a little, fantasizing about that scenario.

Whatever.

She deserves it. One day she will fucking learn her lesson.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Even after Sasha's pep talk, you couldn't get Eren out of your mind.  
You checked your phone every other minute.

You didn't want to admit it, but you were waiting for him to say something, anything.

Nothing. He didn't say anything. 

Your Emotions had never been this complicated. You were filled with intoxicating rage and envy.  
But at the same time you wanted to forgive him. You wanted to forgive him... so bad.

Fuck.

You love that dickhead. You actually fucking love that asshole. It was too late. You fell. And you fell hard. 

It was a weird mixture out of anger but still wanting to give him a second chance. Well, third chance. He had already fucked up before and even if you promised yourself to break it off if he messes up again, you couldn't. You couldn't stop thinking about him.

You wanted to punch him, hurt him.  
But at the same time, you wanted him to cuddle and embrace you, telling you everything is going to be okay.

This man was playing with your emotions and you couldn't do anything against it.

Eren had you hooked. You wanted him back. Right now.

Theoretically you were never together so taking him back was the wrong way to phrase it.

You couldn't imagine a life without Eren at this point.

Since you can remember you had always hated fairytale endings, valentines day and romance.

You never understood or craved the concept of love. It sounded so cheesy and disgusting.

You cringed at couples walking by. You never understood how someone could do that to themselves.  
How someone could give their whole life for an other human being.  
You thought those people were weak.

Depending on others was not in your thought dictionary.

But now... Now you knew why.  
Life without Eren was horrible and draining. It felt like your world turned grey and you felt helpless.

It sounds so cheesy but it was truly how you felt.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week went by but you were still not receiving any messages from Eren.

You were really pissed. He was the one that did something wrong. Not you. He should feel like shit, not you.

You thought of something that could maybe get you back to reality. A college party. You hadn't been at one for forever and it seemed like an amazing opportunity to dance your ass of and forget about the whole Eren Historia situation.

Out of protest, you wore the exact dress you had worn the first time Eren and you had sex. You did your own makeup with a little help of Sasha and pinned up you hair.

You wanted to look hot without him.  
You wanted to feel irresistible without him. You wanted him out of your mind. Even if it would only be for one night. You were about to do anything it took to get him out of your head.

Just this once.

(Music playing at the party : call out my name by the weekend... let's pretend college students have a good music taste for this fanfic)

The party was like any other one. Drunk young adults throwing up in the front garden.

As always you pressed yourself through the crowd of those immatures.

Surprisingly Jean was no where to be seen. Normally he would never miss the chance to flirt and pick up women.

You felt relieved. Finally no drama. Jean wasn't here, Eren wasn't here, Zeke wasn't here, Historia wasn't here. This was your moment and your free time.

You danced your ass off and had an amazing time. You even decided to drink a little. It felt amazing.  
Your head was empty. The only thing on your mind was the music around you. You slowly got really tipsy.

You felt confident and sexy so you decided to head to a different room.  
You looked for a room similar to the one where you had met Eren. You wanted to challenge your emotions and your pride.

Your drunk self really is a whole different person.

Finally you stumbled into a, compared to the other rooms, pretty tiny one. Jackpot.. it had a bar and there were only a couple of people.

You didn't really focus on the people around you. You were totally wasted so you only saw blurry faces. 

You continued dancing to call out my name. It felt like heaven. Eren was out of your mind and you were actually having fun. The alcohol in your blood intensified the colors and smells around you.

You felt ecstatic.

You turned to the bar to fetch yourself some more alcohol.  
You couldn't really walk straight but you did your best. Slowly you came closer and saw two people kissing on one of the stools.

"Yeahh *burp* get it gurl. Get yourr manss."

There was no response. They were way to far into making out to hear you. 

You finally reached the bar safely and ordered some vodka.

While taking a couple of shots a certain smell hit your sensitive nostrils... 

Hmm smells nice... Expensive cologne.. how alluring 

Suddenly you snapped back to reality. You knew that cologne. You had smelled it before but you couldn't put your finger on it.  
You decided to study the kissing couple next to you more in detail.  
It was probably a guy you had hooked up with before. You remember every smell.

Suddenly, you sobered up completely.  
No.. fuck no.. 

Silky blonde hair, perfect body, tiny figure..

Tall, brown long tied up hair, expensive cologne, emerald eyes...

Your body felt numb. Your brain completely stopped working. Your thoughts blacked out.

There was no way... you were just imagining it...

There they were. Eren Yager and Historia Reiss making out.  
She was sitting on his lap and they were in a deep making out flow. 

Your eyes trailed down her body in shock. He was.. he was cupping her ass and sqeezing it.. hard

You didn't know what to do, how to respond, how to react.

At this point, you were completely sobered up.  
Chills ran down your body but no tears fell this time.  
Your body was to tense to release tears.

You slowly stood up not knowing what to do with yourself. Eren was cheating on-

He wasn't cheating... you weren't even together... he

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD. I LIKED YOU! I REALLY FUCKING LIKED YOU! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? I THOUGHT I MEANT SOMETHING TO YOU. I guess not."

You shouted at him and everyone was staring at you in confusion and irritation. But he wasn't responding. Ersn didn't even flinch. 

He just continued making out with Historia.

You couldn't believe it. You thought he liked you back. You didn't realize he didn't even like you a little bit. You were just a toy for him to play with. Nothing more.

You finally gathered enough strength to turn around and storm out of the room.

Before leaving the room you looked back one more time and locked eyes with Historia.

She was taking a quick breather. She blew you a kiss and grinned like you had never seen anyone grinn before.

And her eyes. They weren't innocent anymore. The only thing shining within them, was pride.


	13. retaliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Any reaction..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is going to be a lot shorter. Basically I already have the whole story and the chapters planned out but I have been getting some requests for a scene like this one. And I think it is a great idea so I added this little chapter in between. Thank you for the amazing requests :)

retaliation 

'retaliation generally is the act of seeking revenge upon another'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You still couldn't believe it. There is no way that actually happend right?  
There's no way. No fucking way. You were just really drunk and had been mistaken. 

It was definitely someone else. Probably an other guy you hooked up with and your drunk mind thought it was Eren.

Your emotional dumb self was just frustrated. That's all.

Fuck...you knew what you had seen.

He didn't do anything. Eren didn't respond, he didn't flinch he didn't apologize, nothing.  
He was kissing that bitch. That pick me girl with no personality and no height.

At this point you didn't want to forgive him anymore. That side of you was long gone. Rage and envy completely took over your body.

The confusing feeling of wanting to give him another chance was out of the question. Not anymore...  
Consider the feeling dead.

Historia can have him. You'll just fuck Zeke instead. Maybe that'll make Eren jealous. Maybe fuck Jean?

That would make him jealous too.  
Both? Threesome? Something to make his blood boil. Something to make him want to come back.  
Something to make him regret kissing that hoe.

You stormed out of the house in rage filled with ideas on how to pay Eren back.

Suddenly you stopped in your tracks.

Why wait? You could easily do something now. Why not?  
Shit, who was stopping you? Eren sure as hell wasn't.

You turned around and stormed back into the house.  
You stumbled through all of the rooms, looking for your target.

Then you found someone. He was perfect. Tall, masculine build, blonde short hair, defined muscles, childish smirk, playboy, checking you out from across the room.. perfect 

(Guess who it is ;))

You smirked back at the handsome stranger and swayed your way across the dance floor.

"Hey you."

"Hey hot stuff."

"Let's not beat around the bush, we know what we both want. Wanna make out?"

"Right here?"

"Hmm maybe in another room with less people. There is this nice room with a bar upstairs. Care to join?"

After putting your all into flirting with him, you managed to lure him into THE room.

He seemed to be a little confused but he was drunk and really into you. He just wanted to make out with you and at that moment, didn't care about your weird approach.

You pulled him into your embrace. And there they were. Still deep into their little sloppy make out session.

The two of you were both completely wasted so you started making out aswell. You had to be honest, he was a really good kisser. Even while being drunk he was very skilled with his tongue. You could kind of get used to this. 

But you weren't focusing on him. You were starting at Eren. You knew that he was able to see you out of the corner of his eye.

Why wasn't he responding at all? Something was different. Something was wrong with him. Very wrong.

Eren was like a robot with only one mission.. making out. You knew he could see you but he still wasn't doing anything.

Eren is the very jealous type and even if he was making out with Historia he would have at least looked a little shocked and suspicious.

Despite not receiving the reaction you had hoped to gain, you continued to stare at his eyes while making out with the handsome man infront of you.

Waiting for something...  
Any reaction.. One flinch... One sign that he was jealous... One sign that your plan had worked.

Nothing...

Eren's eyes were now open. There was no way he wasn't looking at you. It didn't make any sense.

You slowly lost hope. He truly didn't care. The flush of sadness took over your body again. It was really too late.

You looked away... you couldn't bring yourself to look at him again. It was embarrassing and draining.

The feelings hadn't been mutual. It had all been in your head. 

With all of your emotional strength you looked back once more.

Unexpectedly, you made eye contact. Real eye contact this time. Eren was definitely looking straight into your eyes.  
Seeing every inch of your body being embraced by this random man with a magnificent physique.

Even if you were only able to see his eyes, you could feel his emotions deep in your chest.

His eyes were full of angst...


	14. stimulation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Omg watch yourself. Goddammit."

stimulation 

'encouragement of something to make it develop or become more active'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Holy fuuuck, you're doing so fucking good baby girl."

You continued bobing your head up and down working his entire length from top to bottom.

"You deserve to be rewarded. Ass up princess."

He carefully lifted you up and turned you around after slipping on a pink condom...of course pink... Instantly, you were in a doggy position but your arms were to weak to hold yourself up from the immense pleasure.

"You look so hot from here. Already broken by me."

Without a warning he inserted himself into you, earning a choked gasp from the inside of your throat.

He was big.. very big.

He slowly started thrusting in and out going deeper with every movement, hitting all of your sweet spots.

The pleasure took over your entire body. Your hands couldn't stand it anymore and you gripped the bedsheets next to your head.

He noticed your needy action and pressed his hands into yours from behind, granting you the friction.

You could feel him slowly getting closer by the way he gripped your hands with a lot of force and him slowly starting to tremble.

"Fuuck I think im gonna cum soon.."

He slowly stopped thrusting and pulled out. You looked at him with neediness and confusion wanting more and feeling unsatisfied.

"I wanna finish in a different position."

"Why?"

"I wanna see your bratty face cum for me. That bratty confidenceof you fading away because I stimulated you."

You couldn't stop yourself from slightly blushing.  
He knew what to do with his words and he knew how to make your knees weak.

He carried you off of the bed and pinned you against the nearest wall.  
He lifted your hands over your head and crossed them completely limiting your movements.

You started kissing him passionately.  
You were so needy for an orgasm.  
You needed it right fucking now.

Suddenly he lifted you up against the wall. Your entire weight was carried by his arms. He was extremely strong. You should have expected that after noticing his muscular physique.

You looked away because you felt very exposed and open. This doesn't happen often because you don't like granting men the satisfaction of your submission.  
He just softly chuckled.

"Look at me when I fuck you."

He held up your legs to your sides and started thrusting into you again.  
This way he could fuck you way deeper and fill your hole completely.

"Fuuck stooop you're to deep. Please stop..STOOOOP"

(This is completely consentual!!!)

You couldn't take the immense pleasure and friction anymore and you started tearing up.  
Finally, tears trailed down your face.

He looked deep into your eyes and started smirking. He leaned closer to your face and licked off the tears that he himself had given you.

"Shut up and take it."

He lifted up his hand and placed it around your throat. He was very skilled and knew how to choke you safely. He wasn't stopping your blood flow or hurting you at all, but you could still feel his hand gripping your throat tightly.

The two of you melted into each others embrace.

You could feel him start to tremble again, signalling that he was close.  
You were too.

"Cum with me you dirty slut."

You obeyed him immediately and the two of you reached your climax together.

You could feel his heavy breath against your neck as you fully collapsed into his arms.

He still managed to hold you up while also almost collapsing from the intense orgasm he had reached.

After the two of you had time to relax and get back to reality he layed back onto the bed.  
He reached his hands behind his head to support it.  
You on the other hand didn't waste any time getting dressed again.

"Baby girl, don't you want to stay a little longer?"

You zipped up your shoes and grabbed your bag while also putting up your hair again.

"You knew this would only be a hookup. It was amazing and I can't thank you enough but that's all that it is."

You turned around and headed to the door opening it.

After already being halfway through the door you stopped in your tracks and turned around one last time.

"I'll hopefully see you around. Let's do this again sometime. Goodbye... reiner."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After kissing Reiner at the party to make Eren jealous the two of you had hooked up a couple of times.

It was absolutely magical but to be honest it was just not comparable with the foreplay you had had with Eren.  
You fell into a slight depression because of Eren. Fucking with Reiner made it a lot better but it was still always at the back of your head.

You couldn't stop thinking back to the way he looked at you kissing Reiner.

Why the hell was he looking frightened? Why the fuck was there fear in his eyes? You expected many emotions but fright? It just didn't make any sense.

Why would Eren fucking Yaeger look scared while kissing Historia?  
It just wasn't adding up.  
It was pretty clear that your plan had worked either way. He was definitely jealous of you and Reiner. 

You were sure that Eren had seen you and Reiner make out at parties a few times after the "break up". You yourself hadn't necessarily seen him with your eyes but you had this feeling.

At least you brought the message across and he felt miserable and a lot of envy aswell.

"Break up" still wasn't the right way to phrase it. Eren and you simply never were together. You were never a "thing". You were just hooking up and flirting with each other.

Nothing more and nothing less.

Despite still feeling miserable while thinking of Eren, you decided to get yourself together again and started by deleting his contact info.

This way, if you ever got needy again, there was no physical way for you to reach out to him on a whimp.

Slowy you got better again. Your depression was slowly fading away and you truly enjoyed life.

You had a lot of fun with Sasha and Annie. Their relationship was sky rocketing and you were so incredibly happy for them.

They were perfect for each other and had a lot of romantic chemistry.  
It warmed your heart to see your bestfriend completely happy and confident in a relationship.

You knew that they were going to last. You had found it hard to believe that "soulmates" exist until Sasha and Annie started dating. They were seriously made for each other.

After a while, you basically got over Eren and stood your ground like the bad bitch you are. 

A big help to your "getting over Eren journey", was that you were not seeing him around at all. 

You hadn't necessarily seen him at college parties anymore and you never ran into him again.  
Still, you were sure that he was at a couple of parties and saw you hooking up with Reiner.

This was extremely helpful because if you were to run into him again... getting over him completely, would be an impossible challenge.  


A few months had passed and you were getting better with every day that passed. Eren was completely out of your mind and you started going to college parties and mindlessly fucking around again with no stings attached.

It was very freeing not having to deal with feelings and unwanted emotions. Obviously one day you are going to settle down with the one, but for now casual hookups were your cup of tea.

Despite fucking around with very random dudes, your favorite fuck partner was definitely Reiner.

It was always a chill time with him.  
You made it very clear that there weren't any strings attached and he completely accepted it.

Reiner fulfilled your needs so why the hell not keep him around for a while.

Besides having a giant mental glow up, you also had an insane physical glow up.

The immature young adult was turning into an elegant young lady.

You were literally thriving and living your best life.

Finally the last year of college had arrived and you were passing all of your classes with outstanding grades.

Everything...seriously Everything was perfect.  


It was a typical Thursday afternoon and you had decided to meet up with Sasha at your local library to study.

Sasha is your favorite study buddy... obviously!

You wore a beige pencil skirt and a gorgeous white blouse that showed of your collarbones perfectly.  
On top of that you wore a stunning gold pendant necklace and some nice dainty golden earrings.

You tied up your hair into an elegant updo but still made sure to leave some baby hairs out to frame your face.

You applied a minimal amount of makeup for a "no makeup makeup look" that exentuated all of your natural features and made your face look soft and glowy.

You looked very elegant and professional but at the same time still sexy and irresistible in a way.

You swung open the giant doors of the library and immediately all eyes were glued to you.

You took a deep breath and confidently walked through all of the rows until you finally arrived at the table Sasha had spread all of her physics books on.

"Who told you physics was a good major?"

"Who told you psychology was a good major?"

The both of you laughed. You always made fun of each others majors and voicing how difficult they were.

"Look at all of those physics books. Physics is horrible."

"Naaa, last year you had double the amount of these books for your "brain studies" or whatever the fuck you were learning."

"Yea yea yea you're right. Speaking of books, I need to get this new book for my final psychology class. I'll be right back. I think it's somewhere over there."

Sasha was already diving into the huge tower of physics books and only managed to give you a quick nod of reassurance.

You stood up and made your way to the Psychology books.

Luckily it was a completely empty row, so you took a deep relieving breath.

You had to get onto your toes to finally reach the book you came here for.

Suddenly someone bumped into you from behind and almost made you fall to the ground.

"Omg watch yourself. Goddammit."

You didn't bother looking up at their face until a certain smell hit your nostrils.

That fucking expensive cologne.

You looked up at the person standing infornt of you and it was just like you had expected. Eren Yaeger was standing infont of you with wide eyes looking you up and down.

"Wow, y/n you look stunning."

"Do I know you?"

"Oh come on don't play that game with me."

"Excuse me is there a problem sir?"

You tilted your head and looked up at Eren with an annoyed stare.

"I, so how do I put this?"

You already had enough and turned around trying to leave the ile without the book.

Suddenly Eren gripped your wrist from behind, forcing you to stop.

"Please don't go. Let me explain."

You took another deep breath and turned around again. Why not give this dude the opportunity to explain himself. You were up for a quick laugh.

"Okay, then explain."

"So, I kinda don't want to do it here. Do you want to meet up for dinner and I can explain it to you there?"

"Just as I thought. The great Eren Yaeger can't even explain something in an empty library ile. Look, I don't fucking care about your stupid apology. You fucked up big time. You messed up one to many times Eren.  
Now that I look more elegant you finally think about bumping into me and talking to me?  
Yeah no. Have a wonderful day."

You turned around fast enough so that he didn't have any chance to grip your wrist again and reply.

He just helplessly stood there watching your body confidently swing around the corner of the Psychology row.

You had done it. You had fucking done it.  
You had stood your ground.  
You had left his needy ass behind.

You won.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (There seems to be a misunderstanding. The story isn't over yet. It still has a loooooong journey. With the "you won" I didn't mean you won the whole story but more you won this time <33)
> 
> By the way, a few chapters ago I used the sentence "thats my girl". THANK YOU FOR INFORMING ME THAT AN ANIME CHARACTER ACTUALLY SAYS THAT. I immediately googled the anime and thank you again for informing me of the beauty that is howl.


	15. sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "One. Last. Time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Warning: this chapter contains non-graphic depictions of violence in a non-sexual way:  
> slapping, hair pulling)

sorrow

'a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fuck.. you didn't think it would affect you this much.

You had been so over him so why are some of your feelings coming back again?

For multiple months you had been at piece with the thought of Eren Yaeger. He was out of your life and with that out of your mind.

It was going great. Everything was so chill and you had truly forgotten about him, or so you thought.

Because after Eren had accidentally crashed into you at your local library, well probably not that accidentally, things changed.

The thing you feared the most slowly crept into your life.

At first you were feeling confident and like a bad bitch who can't feel emotion. You felt so powerful just letting him stand there, alone, without letting him explain or do anything against it.  
You had been in complete control.  
Eren got exactly what he deserved, no recognition.

Eren had messed up big time and he deserved to be stood up. It was a great feeling but that shit never lasts. The first week after the incident had been an epiphany of highs but it didn't take long for you to slowly loose that high and get back to reality.

You were putting a lot of thought into it and the more you thought about him, the more it was harder to be over it, over him.

Your feelings were definitely not completely back. Not even close.

But still... slowly they crept back into your mind and you couldn't stop thinking back to the times you had had together with Eren. You weren't even thinking about the sex. Okay, you were also thinking about the amazing sex but there were more important things.

The things you treasured were the little things.

Him always making sure to open the doors for you, him caring for you after a stressful day, him inviting you to a round of stargazing.

If only he wouldn't have anger issues. If only Historia wouldn't exist. Everything would be fine without that nasty bitch.

It should have been clear from the start that there had to be some sort of problem with Eren. He seemed perfect to the littlest detail.

Perfect body, perfect personality, perfect eyes, perfect hair, perfect dance skills, perfect money, perfect house, perfect sex.

It had been to good to be true. Something had to be wrong and now you knew what was.

If only his imperfections were something else. Something you could deal with. Something that isn't fucking cheating and anger issues.

To he honest, another reason why you couldn't put him to rest, was that you didn't know why.  
Why did he do it? There needs to be a reason. You aren't totally dumb. You would have noticed if he had only wanted you for your body. You would have even been fine with only sex but there was definitely more going on there.

On top of that, why was Eren looking scared while kissing Historia? Why wasn't he glaring at you in a cocky and confident way?

Not knowing the 'why' made it hard for you to move on.  
If only you knew what his problem was, maybe you could feel relieved and fully let go.

...

Despite the fact that some of your feelings were coming back, they still weren't significantly dominant and you were able to handle them.  
You were still doing fine and it wasn't bothering you that much.

You were still able to just go about your day and also have periods of time where you didn't think about him at all.

But Eren Yaeger always stayed at the back of your mind. Somewhere in the very back.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"I thought you were over him."

"I swear Sasha I was, it's just that after seeing him again it reminded me of the times we had."

"So you were obviously not over him because if you would have been, we wouldn't be talking about this bullshit right now."

"I agree, didn't you feel really confident after putting Eren in his place? It must have felt like a total victory"

You awkwardly shifted your gaze back to Annie.

"Yes I did but it just kind of faded away afterwards. Damn I don't know man... it's just really complicated."

"Hmm I mean you'll get over him someday. There are plenty of men out there you know. What about that Raynear guy?"

"You mean Reiner haha? Nah, I mean it was fun while it lasted but it was just sex there was clearly nothing serious between us."

"Ohh okay. Hmm thinking about it the wedding invitations would look pretty weird. Reiner? That just sounds and looks weird."

"Sasha, I am not even close to marriage. Besides, maybe I don't even want to get married. I don't know if that's my thing you know? Yeah okay his name is kind of weird. I think it's german or something like that."

"Whatever, I'm sure you will get over him. A little heartbreak here and there is inevitable. Besides, I'm sure you will find yourself a new domi mcdomerson. You get it? You know? Dominant?"

"Very funny Sasha. Don't act like you two don't have your own kinks. Y'all do things I wouldn't even dream of doing. Y'all do some crazy shit. Next to you I am vanilla and a virgin."

...

The evening with Sasha and Annie had been great. They never fail to make you feel better about the whole situation.

On top of that the food was immaculate. Sushi at this little Japanese restaurant tasted like heaven on earth.

After dinner had ended, the three of you parted ways. Well basically Sasha and Annie were heading to Annie's place to do God knows what.

After knowing you for a while they knew that hugging was not a thing you particularly enjoyed so they just quickly gave their verbal goodbyes and left the restaurant hand in hand.

You finished your glass of wine, before slowly making your way outside again.

But you didn't want to go home just yet. It was that kinda night.

You entered a random train into a random direction and kept going until it felt right to get off.

You looked for a seat at the very back and next to a window. You layed your head against it to look outside and watch the beautiful city line passing by.

You plugged in your earphones and played some calming songs to get into the right mindset.  
Your favorite was a remix of both 'daddy issues' by the neighborhood and 'do I wanna know' by Arctic Monkeys.

The vibration of the train against the window sent shivers down your body but you still enjoyed it.

It was very consistent and because of that it felt comforting in a way.

Finally you decided to get off and walk around a little to clear your mind.

But of course your needy ass mind decided to unconsciously get off at meds Beach. Of course...

This was the place Eren and you had gazed up at the stars months ago when everything was still going significantly well. Whatever, just because that happend doesn't mean you wouldn't be allowed to visit this beautiful beach ever again.

In the end of the day it's just a beach and it's free for anyone to visit anytime.

You kicked of your shoes at the starting point of the cool sand to not get them dirty.

You slowly walked over to the ocean.  
You looked into the distance and chuckled remembering an episode of attack on titan that you had finished a few weeks ago. The one where they finally reached the ocean.

Thinking of that show lead you back to the one who recommended it to you, but you just pushed those thoughts away and started mindlessly walking along the shore.

You took very deep breaths inhaling the cool smell of salt that radiated from the ocean.

"Hey."

"Good eve-"

wait..

Of course... was this a romance novel or why does he always have to catch you at your most vulnerable states?

"And what are you doing here Eren?  
Don't tell me you were following me."

"Pah, in your dreams. Remember that I told you I come here almost every night?"

"Cocky much?"

"Yeah yeah sorry"

"Just leave me alone, I can't deal with you right now."

You turned around and headed into the other direction when Eren stopped you by holding onto your wrist.

This time you turned around immediately and... damn.

The moonlight was hitting his backside perfectly and giving his silhouette a beautiful shine.

Eren had gotten even prettier than before....Whatever, he's not worth it.

"Do I have to repeat myself again? I'm not fucking interested!"

You tried to free yourself from his grip but this time Eren wasn't having it. He continued grabbing your wrist even harder and looked deep into your eyes.

"Y/n, please let me try to explain myself. Please... I've been thinking about you this whole time."

"And I am supposed to believe that bullshit?"

"Look, you don't have to take me back okay? I just want you to understand why I did it. Please? Come with me to my place one last time."

You wanted to say no so fucking bad. You wanted to slap him, hurt him turn around, run away and forget about him so bad.

But something was keeping you from doing something against him.  
Something Eren was doing, was making you want to say yes and go with him one last time and finally, you had no other choice, than to give in to him.

"One. Last. Time."

"One last time..."

Eren let go of your wrist and you turned away from him immediately.

There was no way you were going to give him the satisfaction. You stayed cold the whole walk back to where your shoes had been laying.

And that energy stayed that way throughout the whole car ride back to his place.

"Oh come on don't give me the silent treatment y/n."

"You better bet your ass I am giving you the-"

"Mhm"

This man was driving you mad and this time not in a sexy or seductive way.

It was far from turning you on. If anything it was making you more fired up but it was too late. You were already in his car and you could tell you were almost at his place.

As soon as the engine stopped Eren was out of his car, sprinting over to the other side to open your car door but you weren't going to let that happen. You pushed open the door by yourself and even managed to hit him with it a little bit.

The impact of the door didn't really hurt him but you were sure that you had at least brought the message across.

By now you knew your way through the appartement building and Eren just silently followed you trying to not make you uncomfortable.

He failed miserably at that aspect.

Finally you arrived at his door step and awkwardly waited for him to unlock it.

You hadn't been at his apartment for a while but it still looked and especially smelled exactly like the last time you had been there.

The smell brought back all of the memories you had gathered at his place and you briefly went through them in your head.

You kicked of your shoes once more and positioned yourself directly infront of Eren.

"okay, now explain."

To be honest, you were kind of looking forward to this exact moment. You were still extremely angry but giving him a chance at explaining himself would put the whole situation at piece.

"Okay so first and foremost I am incredibly sorry. I fucked up so bad and I can't apologize enough.  
I can't believe I did what I did because, because I think I have fallen for you."

Even if you somehow felt the same way you were way to stubborn and annoyed to say it back.

"Go on.. cool you like me amazing blablabla and now I need a godamn explanation."

For some reason your confidence was slowly fading away with every word that left Eren's lips. Your body was taken over by rage but at the same time sadness?

It was an uncanny feeling that you had never felt before and for some reason you could feel yourself tear up. Your body was just totally overwhelmed by all of the different emotions that were rushing through your body and mind.

"I was jealous okay?! That fucking bastard Jean!! For some fucked up reason on multiple occasions you were backing him up and were on his side and just... FUCK!! I thought that the two of you for sure still had something going on so, so I... but she... I didn't want to but..she forced- .. it wasn't my fucking fault that bastard Jean and you... of course I would get jealous"

Erens energy changed drastically aswell. He was also filling up with extreme rage and sorrow.

You already had enough of his bullshit apology because he was obviously not getting to the point and leaving out the most important information. 

Yes Eren was telling you about his jealousy but you could tell there was way more to his story but he still wouldn't tell you everything.

Eren was starting to blame you now?!?  
Because you backed up Jean a couple of times?

You got more fired up by the second and through the immense rage a couple of tears rolled down your face.

"YOU GAVE ME A FUCKING REASON TO BE JEALOUS BECAUSE OF JEAN GODAMNIT. I DIDN'T- HISTORIA... she... I didn't want to."

You looked deep into his eyes with a disgusted and cold stare.

"Eren Yaeger, you will never change. You have always been and you will forever be a manipulative cocky bastard."

You walk up to him while not breaking eye contact for even a split second.

Suddenly you couldn't control yourself anymore and you slaped him across his face...hard..

You put all of your strength, anger and rage that you had accumulated over the past few months into the movement, letting out all of your disgust and hatred that you were feeling in that moment.

Automatically his face turned to the side due to the impact of your hand. His cheek slowly turned into a red color and you could even see little marks for each one of your fingers.

But instead of looking defeated his lips curled into a grin showing you that even if his face was flushing red it didn't hurt at all and he was even enjoying it in a messed up masochistic way. You couldn't believe the audacity of this man.

You pushed his chest out of completele shock and rage. Again you used all of your force to relieve all of your hatred onto his body.

"I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!" 

You pushed him back once more with all of the force your body could handle and this time it seemed to have actually hurt him as he stumbled back against the nearest wall.

You walked up to him again. You were so irritated and angry at his presence and wanted to let out all of your feelings again and hit him even harder this time. 

But when you finally reached him something different took over your body in an instant. You swung your dominant hand behind his back and pulled his hair harshly forcing his head back.

Finally, you reached out for his shirt  
and crashed your lips against his.

Eren froze up for a second, confused by your sudden change of movement but quickly realized your intentions and stuck out his tongue to allow you entrance into his mouth. With that Eren automatically contorted the kiss into a more intense and forceful makeout session.

You couldn't hold yourself back and there was no way you were stopping right now.  
You were going all in just like you had promised the night you went back to his place for the first time.

You kissed Eren with such an insane amount of force to show him how much you hate him, how much he fucking hurt you and he didn't do anything to stop you and just continued intensifying the kiss to show you that he understood exactly why you did what you did.

You hated this man so fucking much but you couldn't resist the temptation. His presence was intimidating you in the best way possible.

You knew this was so wrong. Eren didn't deserve this. Not in the slightest.

But this new greedy feeling completely took over and it was too late...

There was no turning back now...


	16. toxicity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If that's what you want..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Y'all already know what's about to happen and for this scene I have chosen call out my name by the weekend)
> 
> (Warning: this chapter contains non-graphic depictions of violence in a sexual way:  
> hair pulling, smudged makeup)

toxicity 

'the quality of being very harmful or unpleasant in a pervasive or insidious way'

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How in the fuck did you get here?

This was not right. 

How the hell did you get here? An hour ago you were mindlessly walking along the beach minding your business but now?!

You ended up deep into an intense makeout session with Eren fucking Yaeger.

His lips felt so soft and gentle yet needy and aggressive against your tongue. You could tell Eren was really sexually frustrated and even if you could not say the same about yourself, you still had this intoxicating need for him that hadn't been stilled for quite some time.

Yes sex with other men was fire and it had definitely stilled your sex drive, but nevertheless.. Eren was just something completely different.

There is no doubt about it... Eren knows what he is doing and he knows how to make a woman feel good.

And thinking about the fact that he had made you feel better than any other man before him without even getting his dick somewhat close to your clit.

The closest you had come to it was with your mouth. 

Despite this "setback", if you will, he had made you feel out of this world.

His tongue skills were... immaculate and you knew that no one could ever reach and provide you with that immense level of satisfaction.

But it was not only the skill that made you drawn to him.

It was the intimacy. The first time the two of you had done it, you hadn't know each other at all.

Some flirting here and there but nothing more. That was it.

Yet Eren made you feel like you had known each other for forever during sex.

He felt so caring and you truly felt cherished by him. It was like he was giving you his whole world in just those few minutes.

You couldn't explain how Eren did it but the fact that the two of you shared so much intimacy made it hard for you to resist.

Even your ex of 2 years had never made you feel this way. He had taken your virginity and he had shared a strong bond with you but he never made you feel as good as Eren did.

So there you were... kissing Eren, making out with him, passively begging for his touch.

You seriously didn't want this. That little voice in your head was telling you the same lines over and over again.. 

What are you doing? Get the hell out of there. He is not good for you. He left you alone for months. Months!! And you reward him... with sex?

You didn't want this. You just wanted to come over, listen to him, maybe slap him once or twice and head out.

You just wanted an explanation so you could finally get him out of your head and mind and move on.

But suddenly all of that was washed away when your craving took over and you showed your hatred through kissing. What a dumb idea.

Eren wasn't getting what he deserved. He deserved being left behind. Why the hell were you doing this?

But it was too late. You knew where this was going but your body was not listening to the obvious red flags your mind was giving it.

This shit was going to lead to angry sex...

There was no doubt this was going to happen. It was inevitable at this point.

But this time... you weren't going to let him fish up an excuse for not going all in. This time, he better listen and fucking do what you need and desire from him.

You started deepening the kiss with all of your force. Eren noticed your utter rage once more and slowly sneaked his hand around your throat.

"Hands off fucker."

You were not letting him do that today.. not today.

Obviously frustrated, Eren turned you around so that you were now the one who was pinned against the wall.

"You may be angry at me and I understand that, but no matter what I will always be in control of what happens during sex understand?"

There was no way for you to physically get out of his grip so you just angrily continued kissing him roughly as his hand made its way back around your throat yet this time he wasn't sneaking it in, he wasn't being gentle anymore.

You wrapped your legs around his waist as Eren lifted you up and continued deepening the kiss while carrying you over to his bedroom.

Eren threw you onto his bed with a lot of force but your body was filled with too much adrenaline, so you didn't feel any pain and just slightly lifted your head up again.

But Eren didn't give you time for that. He pushed your whole body down until you were laying completely flat on the bed.

Eren was quick at almost ripping off each and every last inch of clothing that protected your skin from the cold air.

Finally he removed your underwear and stared at your lower body in awe and hunger.

You could tell that he was very excited for this part and to be honest, you were too. The sensation that tongue could give you...

Without any warnings or teasing Eren went straight to your clit with his tongue.

"Fuuck."

How much you had missed his tongue. How fucking much you had missed the sensation of his warm tongue combined with the cool metal of his tongue piercing.

The cold feeling hitting your most sensitive part and made you jolt up in delight and shock.

You knew you were going to cum. And you were going to cum quickly.

Your hands flew to his hair almost like a reflex and you started pulling at it harshly, looking for some type of friction to be able to handle the pleasure.

On top of that tears started forming and rolling down your cheecks and with that your makeup got smudged all over your face. At this point you weren't moaning anymore.

It was a sick mixture of whimpers and cries. But it felt so. Fucking. Good.

"I hate what you're doing to me you fucker."

As you had expected you came in a matter of minutes. As always, it felt like an euphoric high and it took you time to get back to earth after such an insane amount of pleasure.

But Eren wasn't granting you that break. He wanted to continue straight away and started pressing your body back down to kiss along your breasts but this time you weren't having it. 

You jolted up and grabbed a huge amount of his hair forcing him to look straight at you and for a change, be was not being able to move.

"Listen little fuck... I don't give a shit about your little 'ohHhHH I'm to big for woman ohhhh they cry and can't take me' shit. You are going to fuck me right now. I don't give a shit if it hurts because I am filled with so much adrenaline and anger that i won't even feel it. You messed up so the least thing you can do is stop whining around and finally fuck me. Godamn it!"

Eren was looking both amazed and shocked. He didn't expect for you to be so direct with what you wanted.

But he directly understood and knew that this was what he needed to do.

"If that's what you want..."

You released your grip from his hair and leaned back letting him lean into you and remove his underwear completely.

You didn't bother looking at his dick. You had seen it before and looking at it now would make everything worse anyway.

Eren quickly pulled out a condom from his side drawer and put it on as fast as he possibly could.

Eren looked down at you one last time checking if you were really okay with it and you just nodded, reassuring him one final time.

And then it happend. He entered you. And he wasn't doing it slow and steady. This fucker was already thrusting after only two seconds of entering.

You were sure that if you wouldn't have been this angry, it would have hurt immensely but because of the adrenaline rush the only thing you felt was utter delight.

It felt, it felt fucking amazing. Your eyes widened as he started thrusting even faster.

You felt him push up deeper and deeper into your core hitting all of your sweet spots over and over again.

You looked up, seeing that Eren was a shaking and sweating mess. He reached out to his headboard for support because he aswell couldn't handle the insane amount of pleasure.

Suddenly you got lost in your thoughts again and everything around you started fading away.

Why were you doing this? Just why were you doing this? Your relationship with Eren is so incredibly toxic. It's filled with disloyalty and trust issues.

It was the peak of toxicity but you couldn't help it because in that moment you knew that Eren is the fucking one. You had fallen for him and there was no way that you were ever going to fall for someone like you haf fallen for him.

But it hurt like a fucking bitch. You thought to yourself that there is no way he has to be the one. Why did your stupid heart have to choose him?

Why him? Why not some normal dude? Why the fuck Eren Yaeger?

All of those thoughts were buzzing through your head and it led to you screaming out the same thing over and over again.

"I hate you!!! I actually fucking hate you!!! Why are you making this so hard for me?"

You could feel Eren quiver under your words. He knew what he had done and he was so ashamed that he had the audacity to do it.

Nevertheless he continued thrusting in and out, continuing to go deeper with every thrust.

For a third time this night, you started tearing up again.

This time it was a mixture of pleasure, hatred and adrenaline that made you cry out the same words over and over again.

"Too hard?"

Quickly, you reached down to his waist and you started pressing him even deeper into you.

"Harder."

Again, Eren looked at you in utter amazement as he obeyed and started pushing himself in even faster and even deeper. At this point his entire length was buried deep inside of you and the two of you melted into one big sweaty mess of moans and groans.

"Y/n I'm gonna-"

"Me too-"

You could feel that Erens thrusts slowly got more sloppy and less controlled. You too slowly lost all of your power and control as the two of you got closer to your shared climax.

Finally you felt his dick twitch inside of you and with that, complete ecstacy took over your mind.

Everything faded away until it was just the two of you together riding out your orgasm after a round of angry and aggressive sex.

It had happened. Because of your anger and adrenaline, he came inside of you... for the first time in his life.


	17. destructive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now, why were you here again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Buenos días, Guten Tag, Bonjour, Good day...  
> Thank you for still reading this fanfic while having to deal with my messy ass upload schedule.
> 
> Yes I'm back and I finally published a new chapter. I hope you enjoy it and I can't wait for your needy comments so as always... dive in you ereh simp;))

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destructive 

'causing great and irreparable damage'

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"Give me your hand.. come on dear."

You visibly hesitated while looking up into Erens hoping eyes. Finally, you reached out and let him get a hold of your hand and with that, guide you out of his new and probably high-priced car.

Still after a while of knowing Eren Yaeger, there was this particular type of shiver running through your body whenever your bare skins collided.

It wasn't a good or bad feeling it was just a very neutral rush of energy that was cutting through your body every time it happened.

Now, why were you here again? Oh yeah..  
A week ago Eren and you had met up "one last time".

Yeah right.

Why did you even believe that bullshit for a second? First of all, you had planned on just going with him for an explanation but ended up with all of your anger and rage being fucked out of you on his expensive ass bed.

Well to be honest it was a victory for your side aswell... kind of?

Basically he said it would take a while and also so called "preparation" for him to actually finally force himself into you, but because of your stubbornness and determination you ended up actually having sex.

Okay, if you hadn't been extremely irritated, it would have hurt like a bitch, but you were very emotionally intoxicated and the adrenaline caused by those emotions washed away the pain you probably would have experienced.

Nevertheless after waking up next to him the next morning, you couldn't force yourself back into your inraged state.

You just pretended as if nothing ever happend. It was probably caused by the shock you had experienced and because of that your body just turned of any complicated emotions and decided to act completely normal.

And well, here you were now, at a party, with Eren Yaeger.

You hadn't talked about the incident since. You never officially forgave him or anything you just continued talking as if nothing happend.

You knew it was wrong... you weren't that attached to him, well... Whatever.

Your body just blended out the things he had done wrong and now it was back to how it was... a big party of confusion.

"See, it wasn't that hard was it?"

And there it was again, that smirk he gives you that sends some type of sensation down your body that doesn't fail to keep you hooked.

Eren slowly guided you out of his car and you made your way into the actual party house.

Again it wasn't an actual party with electric DJ music but more elegant and well, professional.

You hated to admit it but slowly you were becoming more mature and grown up, so messy drug filled college parties just weren't your top priority anymore.

You originally didn't want to attend this one because you were certain that not only Jean would be there, but also Reiner. 

Even if you promised each other there were no strings attached, you knew he had a thing for you and you didn't want him to see you with Eren.

Nevertheless Eren and you entered the "party area and immediately started looking for a seat. 

Eventually you settled down at a table with two other men that looked like they knew Eren.

Honestly, who doesn't know him?

"Hey Kayden and Matt, this is my beautiful girlfriend y/n."

Now hold on... who the hell said that the two of you were dating?

Even though the word girlfriend sent a cool shiver down your spine for some reason it still felt, good?

Why the fuck?

Maybe it was just the fact that you knew someone cared. This was so wrong bit you weren't doing anything. 

It kind of felt relieving to hear Eren finally actually "claim" You and actively show that he really wasn't fooling around. He was dead serious.

Throughout the whole party you stayed more in the background.

Every now and then Matt and Kayden would ask you questions and you would just smile at them politely and answered them I the simplest way possible to not seem suspicious but still get it over with quickly.

Eventually the party came to an end and Eren and you headed back to his place.

The car ride home was filled of Eren blabbering you full while you just gave short and chopped up answers while staring outside of the window.

"Hey, y/n, what's wrong?

"Oh it's nothing, there were just a lot of people, it's exhausting."

Eren softly placed his right hand on your left thigh and began tracing circles all over it while continuing to comfort you, but it wasn't really working because he was comforting you for something that didn't really bother you at all.

One thing led to another and ther you were, leaning back against his headboard while he was buried deep between your legs.

You weren't about to lie to yourself.  
It felt as amazing as ever. 

His tongue gracefully traced every little part of your vulva and it made sure to hit all of your sweet spots while still remaining graceful and teasing.

If your problem had really only been the big amount of people at the party, Eren would have for sure succeeded at washing all of that away with his pleasure, but it was impossible for him to wash away the discomfort of himself.

Still, you enjoyed every last second of him, every last lick and every last suck as you couldn't stop from griping his hair and throwing your head back in delight.

Finally after reaching you 5th climax of the night, Eren stopped and traced his thumb over your swollen folds until he stopped at your clit.

"This will forever be mine, and only mine."

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A few weeks had passed and things basically stayed the same.

Eren and you were officially together now and things were looking good, if only you wouldn't be facing the same struggles with him over and over again.

Thinking about it, Eren still hadn't told you the entire truth. You were sure that there was still way more behind his story and with that his actions but he never gave it to you.

Yes he apologized and yes he did everything he could to make it up to you and yes he was treating you like the perfect boyfriend but still that men hurt you so bad.

You had promised to keep away from him. They say you should forgive and never forget but at this point, you weren't even sure if you were able to forgive him for his actions.

The cuts were a little to deep to be forgiven so soon and especially with this small amount of information and exposure. 

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"Y/n Y/l/n , I love you so much."

"I-, I- hmm."

Eren leaned forward and caressed your check with a loving glow within his eyes.

His hands fitted you cheek perfectly and you had to admit that you were melting under his touch even if you knew it was wrong for you to do so and you shouldn't be feeling this way.

"Don't worry, one day you will be able to say it back... I will wait for you as long as needed."

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You felt like your relationship with Eren was slowly breaking you.

It wasn't rapid but still noticeable.  
Every day a small piece of you was pulled away by him.

But you couldn't.

You just couldn't leave him.  
You still fucking loved that asshole and you knew he was the one.

Why did it have to be him though?

If only Eren were a normal guy. You would have left him at once if he had behaved this way and if you were experiencing these unknown feelings.

But we are talking about Eren Fucking Yaeger here and for some reason you couldn't let go of his annoying ass.

He made you feel so loved and accepted and beautiful and special but at the same time betrayed.

How can someone who hurt you and broke you over and over and over again, love you?

How is that possible?

If he truly loved you, why bother putting you through all of this pain?

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Well hello there.. while we wait for the next chapter how about we pray that isayama doesn't kill off any other characters who we love. I know Jean is an asshole in my story but he will forever be my favorite and if he gets killed off, y'all will feel my rage. And if he kills off Connie... no)


	18. abandon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It isn't easy, it isn't fucking easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I know there is a lot of shit going on in the aot fandom now that the new chapter is out but I hope that this fanfic can ease that pain a little and distract you from the actual aot storyline. Remember, if you want to add a comment about your opinions on the new aot chapter or any other topics that contain spoilers please add a big spoiler warning!

abandon 

'Abandon means to give up or discontinue any further interest in something because of discouragement, weariness, distaste, or the like: to abandon one's efforts. Relinquish implies being or feeling compelled to give up something one would prefer to keep: to relinquish a long-cherished desire.'

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Slowly but surely the pain was indulging every cell in your body.

How the hell were you supposed to deal with this, with him?

It isn't easy, it isn't fucking easy.

In fact, it was so hard that you couldn't even decipher what was actually wrong with you or your emotions and feelings.

There was no way for you to describe the things you were feeling at that moment. It was just such a weird mixture out of every possible emotion in the book. 

Anger

Grief 

Sadness

Jealousy 

Inconvenience 

Rage

Confusion 

Relief 

Fear

Love?

Was it love, really? Yes it fucking was. If it wasn't love you wouldn't be having these conversations with yourself. But it was the most toxic love you had ever experienced.

You repeated the same thoughts in your head every day without a doubt in your mind.

Why, just why? It's always the same questions.

Why did he do it? Why did he apologize but not explain? Is he still in touch with that bitch? Fear, why the hell fear? Why can't he just explain why? It would make things so much easier if he would just...

Does he really love me? How could he love me when he treated me like that? Do people change? Once a cheater always a cheater? Did he really cheat or was Historia the person in the wrong? Would he have forgiven you if you had cheated? Would you normally forgive cheating?

All of those questions were ringing in your head not only when you were alone but also when you were with him. You couldn't really enjoy the moments with him anymore because even if he gave you constant and I mean CONSTANT reassurance you couldn't bring yourself to believe it.

How could you?

Eren cheated. 

If it really wasn't his fault and your theory had been correct that Historia did something to him, why wouldn't he say that?

If he was in the right, why would he keep that from you?

It doesn't add up.

There was no doubt about it, Eren Yaeger had actually fallen in love with you. You knew he wasn't lying.  
At least there is something you can be sure of...

But that doesn't change his actions.

Why the fuck doesn't it add up?

You are the type of person who can't just let things rest if it isn't completed in your mind.

You are an 'all in' type of person.

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Finally you made your decision.

You were going to break up with him.  
For real this time, there isn't any going back and crying over him, no.

This is the real shit.

It's the best for you and you knew you should be more selfish sometimes and push away toxic people.

If he really was in the right and it wasn't his fault he would definitely say that when you break up with him, right? So basically the situation can end in two ways.

Either Eren doesn't have a good explanation and you go separate ways or he finally brings himself to tell the truth and you will have to think about it again.

To be honest, both of these scenarios aren't ideal but it's the only thing that will make you feel relieved, finally.

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You looked down at you phone one last time before hoping into the shower.

His answer to a meet up at Meds Beach was as sweet as ever. Obviously Eren said yes. How would he know what your plans actually were?

The warm water almost felt euphoric against your skin. It trailed down your torso and down your legs until it finally hit the ground.

God, how much you missed hot showers. 

You normally shower cold except for well, when you prepare for something that is going to wreck your nervous system and this evening is going to do just that.

Okay, you had broken up with a couple of guys before but you couldn't lie to yourself anymore. This was different, very fucking different.

Damn, this shit is going to hurt like a bitch.

You tried to convince yourself desperately that you were indeed doing the right thing but it didn't really help.

You were as confused as ever.

After you finally hoped back out of the shower you decided to put a little more effort into you outfit. Eren and you love to do this thing where you dress up formally to go to the beach together.

Okay, maybe it was just an excuse to see him in a suit because Eren looks hella attractive in suits.

But it is also very fun and just an amazing experience to share.

You didn't put on a lot of makeup but you put your hair into a lazy updo.

You slipped into a maroon dress that hugged you curves in all the right places without being provocative or however old people like to describe short dresses.

Finally you looked at yourself in the mirror one last time.

"You have fun okay?"

"You know it Sasha."

"I still don't like that guy and I never will."

"Haha I can definitely see why. Don't worry everything will be fine. By the way you don't have to wait up it could take a while."

"Alright goodnight."

"Night."

Oh how much you hated lying to your best friend.

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The train was slowly getting closer and closer to Meds Beach and with every minute your heart sank deeper and deeper into you chest.

There was no turning back now.

It's all in, all in.

Finally the train stopped at the by now well known train station right next to Meds Beach and the Italian restaurant.

Just looking at the small and cozy restaurant shot tears back into your eyes but you quickly bit you tongue and sucked those tears right back up again.

"Keep yourself together y/n. You are the one who is breaking it off."

But it didn't matter how often you told yourself those lies it didn't change how you truly felt inside.

You slowly made your way along the pavement next to the beach until you saw a certain man standing in the salty water being illuminated by the cold moon light.

You slowly tried to sneak up on him but Eren obviously would not let that happen. Just seconds before you could reach out to him and scare him he turned around and grabbed your wrist.

Damn, Eren was as handsome as always.

"Nice try darling, next time try to not breathe so heavily when you sneak up on me"

Next time... there won't be a next time.

"Fuck you."

"Right now?"

You couldn't help it. Your lips curled into a grin. And the grin was one hundred percent genuine. Eren always knew how to loose up the situation and make it less awkward.

"H a h a very funny."

"I can see your grin and I must admit it looks very challenging."

"Okay okay you're right."

You noticed how Eren's eyes were slowly walking down your entire body.

You love the way he does that. He makes it so that you can feel the tension build up but it doesn't feel like he is only wanting you for your body or it doesn't feel like Eren sees you as an object.

How is Eren always so respectful?

"Yes I know I am irresistible aren't I?"

"Indeed, come on let's walk along the sea."

Eren took you hand in his and slowly guided you into the water. You had to admit it felt very appreciative and calming.

The salty water was dampening your feet in a calm but irregular pattern.

Wait, you couldn't allowed to let you mind wander off like that. You can't forget what you called him here for.

You came to an abrupt stop and Eren stopped almost at the same time because he could already tell something was wrong as well.

"Darling, is everything okay? School, applications? You can tell me everything."

You felt your breath hitch in your neck as you desperately try to finally get the words out of your mouth.

It isn't helping that Eren was being so genuine and gentle by slightly sqeezing your hand to reassure you that everything was okay.

"Eren, w-"

Keep it together y/n, don't let the tears come out.

"We need to talk."

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shortish chapter but y'all know me I had to end it in a cliffhanger. Cmon it's Greedy, were you really expecting y/n to break up with him in this chapter, tsk tsk tsk tsk.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank so so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed it :D  
> I will update as soon as possible.


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